Experienced gentlemen/savvy women - On my first date with a guy, he brought up kids, is he into me or....?

Question

is he just saying that because he wants to get me to the big nasty? Technically, it is the second date. I don't count the first date because it was only coffee for an hour. The date was a sit down dinner at a restaurant and we talked for 3 hours. He brought up taking care of his elderly aunt, then he said he wanted kids to take care of him when he gets old.

This was our first dinner together, but we've known each other for almost a year - we worked together for a while. We don't work together now.

I feel what he said is kind of a big deal because I really like him, but I broke up with my boyfriend recently and I need to take things slow. If he just said that for s*x, that's actually ok with me. If not, I think he's coming on too strong.

What do you think?

Answer 1

The fact that you broke up recently and are already dating tells me that you are picking the same type of man. Give yourself a chance without a man in your life to figure out who you are first. If that was me and he was talking kids that fast I would be outta there!!!

Answer 2

  I think you are making way to much out of his statement.  If he had said he wanted to have children with YOU than I could understand where you would be coming from.  

Answer 3

No, he was simply saying that rather than saving up for retirement or working on his ability to take care of himself now, so that when he is older he can function, he would rather gamble on and use his off-spring as a sort of insurance policy. Basically the man is a bit of a loser, a bit immoral and is looking for the right woman to raise that insurance policy. Like h**l a person like that, who has children so that they don't die alone, is going to be much of a parent.

I would have reminded him that in our ever global world the likelihood that his children would stay around and take care of him, rather than put him in a home and move to Europe is low and that he's being quite selfish about the matter. I enjoy shooting down people's reasons for having children when they won't admit that it is merely a crude biological drive.

One more thing, if he was saying that to have s*x, that's just silly. There are better, albiet less sneaky ways, to get a woman into bed. If you'd be okay with that, you're just horny and in which case, just go for it. The seduction games can continue, but make them about s*x would you? It is just more honest that way.

Answer 4

i dated a guy once that did all those things and said all the right things.  he was experienced and knew what i wanted to hear.  i had a gut feeling that's what it was but i fell for it anyway.  you can only do so much, just take things slow as you said and continue to date.  just because he says the things you want to hear doesn't mean he is only in it for one thing.  the real trap is thinking he is more into you than he really is.  good luck.

Answer 5

He's outlining his desires and plans for the future, giving you the chance to decide if your plans fit in. It's called 'getting to know each other'.

Answer 6

He is just trying to get to know what your values and life expectations are.  He wants to see if you have similar goals or tastes.  I wouldn't take it as him being into you.  I would take it as you now know you're dealing with a man that has some depth and is not all about the shallow.  My guess is he's a little older?

Answer 7

You might be reading into his comment a bit much - if you want to take it slow then let him know...

Answer 8

You are reading WAY too much into it. He's simply saying he wants kids who will take care of him in his old age; he wasn't proposing to you and asking you to have his babies.

Relaaaaaaax

Answer 9

If that's his reason for wanting kids (to take care of him), drop him NOW!  He's very bad husband material.

Answer 10

I think that perhaps he was making a somewhat off-handed comment about not wanting to grow old and feeble without someone to care for him...preferably his own children.  

I don't honestly think that his comment was directed toward you or in any way expressing his desire to sire children with you in the very near future.  Nor do I think that it had anything to do with him wanting to have s*x with you.

Don't read too much into things...it'll make you crazy!