Explain this quote from "Aria: Memoir of a Bilingual Childhood"

Question

“The fact is that only in private – with intimates – is separateness from the crowd a prerequisite for individuality. (An intimate draws me apart, tells me that I am unique, unlike all others.) In public, by contrast, full individually is achieved, paradoxically, by those who are able to consider themselves members of the crowd.”

Answer 1

Excellent, not pretty , but excellent. An arei is a type of opera presentation. The one presented here,   says,  with a special intimate,  you are made to feel special,  in a grandiose and positive manner, a one in a million,  type positive, and  then inpublic, you discover, yourself, to be only   a part of the crowd, and the anonymity  forces you to realize, "ONE IN A MILLION' has another meaning, WHICH IS STILL INDIVIDUAL, BUT NOT SO SPECIAL.!

Now i ask a quesrtion, how does one overcome, this inadequacy complex?

Answer 2

It means that alone, intimacy with others, and just alone in general, you are a unique human being. Separate from the crowd you no longer face judgments and pressures. Your partner or "intimate", sees you as the one and only, and at that moment in time, you are compared to no one and are you and only you. Then the quote goes on to say that in public, there is the contrast between people when they are all blended together in a crowd. Just as unique as a person might be alone, it is still achievable standing next to another.