Extra discipline for a school infraction?

Question

My 8 year old son took something from a friends desk at school and was caught. He was sent to the principals office and had to take the item back and apologize, plus miss his recesses and something special his class was doing that day. My question is, how much extra discipline should I give at home for this matter. Is taking away a privilege for a week enough or too much. My first thought was to take away all his privileges, but then I thought that was too much. I don't want him to think that he won't get punished for the wrong choices he makes at school, but I also don't want to over discipline him. Thanks in advance for any advice on this.

Answer 1

I think your son has been appropriately punished. You should definitely talk to him about what he did and why it was wrong -- make HIM explain it to you; don't just lecture him. The infraction happened at school and the school has dealt with it. It's not like they gave him a slap on the wrist and sent him back to class -- he has to miss activities AND he apologized and returned the item he took. I really think that's enough of a punishment...and I am a strict mom.

Answer 2

Good answer Elizabeth! That is awesome. Sorry but our school totally lacks on most discipline issues and I am glad to see some are doing their part. I'm sure your son is probably humiliated but that's okay we all live and learn. I think it would be great to take something of his and have him give it up would be really creative! Take a stance and let him know that you communicate with his school and it is very important to you how he behaves. Good job mom!

Answer 3

for only a week ? gosh you are very lenient.Whatever he took from a friend may be minor right now but may be worst later on.

Answer 4

You should definately follow up at home with a punishment.  Taking away a special privilege for a week (video games,etc?) would be a fit punishment I think.

Answer 5

I really don't like the idea that a lot of people tell the parents that they should make a kid give a most priced possetion to charity or to the victim.  Its their most valued item for crying out loud.  You could take that item and keep hide in your room till that kid learns his lesson.  That's what my mom did to me.

Answer 6

I would find out from him if he knew what he was doing was wrong.  Kids sometimes do some bone-headed things.  Honest mistakes happen.  However if he knew it was wrong and he was being -sneaky- then you should be more strict.  You are forming the building blocks  that will determine the type of man he will become.  He needs to respect others and their property.  He needs to recognize and listen to that inner voice that says " hey i know this is wrong" and act appropriately.  You must punish at home as well.  Dont allow the school to parent for you.  Sometimes the best punishment is positive reinforcement. I would speak with him about how he felt when he stole it and how he felt when he got caught.  Help identify those negative feelings.  Then i would take some time to find a few positive and rewarding activities. for example, in my sons case we spend a few hours at an animal shelter playing and loving on the caged animals, we have also helped an elderly neighbor by washing her, car and we spent time playing board games with hospice patients who didnt have any family to visit with them.  In each case we identified the positive feelings that came from doing good things and we compared them to the bad feelings.  He was able to determine the good things made him feel better inside.  And we talked about trying to always do the right thing. Then i would tell him that theres always going to be something he wants today its a toy tomorrow it will be something else.  No matter what it is make him understand that he has the ability to work for it or earn it.  And by doing it the right way he will  not only stay out of trouble but it will be morally rewarding as well.

Answer 7

What about making him take an item he enjoys and donating it to good will?  Then he will learn what this other child would have felt if the item had not been returned.