FAMILY PROBLEM..............?

Question

hey me n my partner want to get married soon however i have two dads! my real dad he hardly sees me rings me quite often tho but were not close but id want him at my wedding as hed bring my nan who im very close too, then i have my step dad whos been around since i was 9yrs old, hes been amazing yes weve had our upps n downs but who doesnt? he helped me through school,college,buying my first house n car,all my stays in hospital-yes many lol(my real dad didnt visit me in hospital once) i realy want my step dad to give me away i know it would mean the world to him as he classes me as his own and im his only ''daughter'' what do u think i should do? what do i say to my real dad?

thanks

x*x

Answer 1

Your blood father should give you away, but of course this can be flexible. Its hard if they dont get on as they cant have an adult conversation about this and thats sad since they must both have your interests at heart.

I am sure your step dad will move aside for your real father he sounds like a good man.

If you cant reach an amicable decision on this and it could be hard going, then why dont you ask your mum to give you away instead ?

This is what my friend did, she was in the same position as you and although both dads got on, they both wanted to do it.

It was wonderful a wedding and everyone said it was a great idea.

The father and daughter dance my friend did the first one with her real dad and the second with her step dad. They both picked songs that were special to them.

Good luck in whatever you decide but I do feel you should at least ask your real dad who knows he may even decline as he has not been there as much as your step dad has.

Answer 2

choose who your initial gut is to choose. you were offended by your real dad not being therefore you as you would have liked so he will have to be understanding of you choosing the other. i was stuck in the same situation but i choose to walk alone. plus i looked better for no one was stealing any of the spotlight. i asked the preacher to omit "who gives this girl away" IT IS YOUR DAY!

Answer 3

Is there any possibility they would be cool with BOTH of them walking you?  It would spare some feelings & give you the best of both Worlds.  That is . . . IF they get along.

Answer 4

I have the same problem as you when its my time to come to walk down that isle. But for me it's a little easier cause I would have neither walk me down. But for you I would stay stick with your step-father. He has been there with you more than your real father (like me). You have to explain that to your father, that even if he is your real father and you love and respect(?) him that you feel that your step father is the right one to give you away. If in the end you can't choose have them both walk you down. One person does not have to walk you down, you can have two, three, or more. It couldn't even have to be your father, it could be another mutal relative or a friend. Just do what you think is right, its YOUR wedding.  

Answer 5

Have your step Dad walk you down the isle but give your real Dad a part in the wedding as well  

Answer 6

woah i would have said take both but if you chose one then go for ur step father cus even though he may not be your real father hes treated you like a real daughter all these years hasnt he? ur telling me ur real dad didnt even visit you in hospital? so what has this mans status - i mean okay his dna is in you but other than that what connection does he have with you? being a dad is important and he hasnt earned it - your step father has so make sure your step father is at the wedding!

xxxx

good luck babe

Answer 7

if you can get both that would be great. but if you cant i'd go with your step dad. he's showed more care and he brought you up and has always been there for you.  

Answer 8

I would walk down the aisle with both of them, one on either side!

The other problem you have is where they sit when you have your top table, what we did was my hubby and I sat on our own at a round table during the meal and just put our parents, bridesmaids etc all beside their immediate family and friends.It worked really well as it meant my man and I could enjoy a nice intimate dinner and then we could chat to our guests all night without feeling like we had spent no time together! Good luck and hope you have a fabulous day!  

Answer 9

i think ur step dad should  give u away since he's been the one who was with you in most of ur life.. it would mean alot to him couse he doesnt have onether daughter like u said.. ur dad should understand but its ur special day u should do what u want rather then anyone else..

Answer 10

My Niece was in your situation and she got her Step-Dad to give her away, as was to me only but right her "real" dad never saw her from she was 10. Your Step-Dad has brought you up as his own and clearly adores you why would you want a man (cos that's all he really is) to walk you down the aisle, there is a saying that anyone can be a dad but it takes someone special to be a father.  

If it were me I would say to your dad that you feel that it's only right that your step-dad should walk you down the aisle as he has been there every day since you were 9 that he was the one who worried and cared for you when you were sick and that you love him because he treats you as if you were his own daughter, let your dad know that of course you want him to be there (after all you wouldn't be you if he hadn't helped create you) but explain everything to him I'm sure he'll understand.  Maybe you could ask your step-dad if he would mind when it comes to the dance with the father of the bride if you danced with your biological dad first then with him.

Answer 11

Being a little more modern I guess, I had my mum & dad walk me down together.......I felt I belonged equally to both of them...and they were both giving me away.

Perhaps you could have your mum and step-dad together....your dad would understand that you want your mum first and foremost, and your step-dad (as they are a couple) and as he has always been right there for you and they raised you together. Perhaps easier for your dad to understand. Also I assume your mum and stepdad are helping with costs, so it makes sense to honour them in this way. If he has a problem with it, he is free to not come if it is that big of a deal, but unless he is completely stupid, I'm sure he'll be ok with it.........especially if he isn't chipping in for the costs of the wedding (which I'm guessing he isn't). Perhaps he could do a reading, or some other job........

good luck

Answer 12

go with what feels right if you think that letting your step dad given you  away is a good option then do it but if you are worried about your real dad kicking off have a talk with him about it all if you can.

Answer 13

Congrats, you have to do what you want to do. If you want your dad to walk you down the isle then do it. You could ask your other (blood) dad to do something else special for you on the day also, maybe a speech, or something similar that has significance in the day also.

Try to be honest with him.