FATHER in law trouble? Help?

Question

hear plenty of people complain they have mother in law woes, but what if it's the father in law who is causing the bother?

My father in law hates me and I have no idea why, I've never done anything wrong.

I have a good job and treat my wife like a queen, I always have and always will, I treat others with respect and Im always pleasant to him but no matter what I do he still treats me with contempt.

My wife is his youngest child and only girl so he's over-protective but come on she had to grow up at some point!! What's some peoples problem??? (She's 27 now for crying out loud! And we've been married since she was 20 so I thought he'd be used to it by now but if anything he's getting worse)

Answer 1

Hi if he let you marry her then he probably cannot be that bad, he is probably just getting old and moany lol, I know what you mean and he probably is like that with everyone and you just seem its bacause of you, dont take it to heart and even thought you have respect for him etc, if he tries to be horrible to you etc then dont stand for it and stand your ground as its not fair on you to be treated this way. Just try and stay out of his way lol

Answer 2

Having the same problem with my father he use to hate my hubby, but now he has slowly started to accept the fact that I'm grown and I'm a young lady not daddy's little girl anymore! I mean to be quite frank with you I thought you were talking about me cause my situation is exactly as your wifes I'm my fathers youngest and use to be his only for about 18 years. I was his pride and joy, but my hubby complicated everything. He'll come around in time I promise you he will gradually start accepting you and reality for what it is truly is. And when he does come around he might even cook you a dinner or bar b q for ya! Good luck it'll be alright in time

Answer 3

Personally I would just ask him whats up.  Do you think that i am not good enough for your daughter or is your daughter playing us both.  I would tell father-in-law and wife that we need to sit down and have a serious talk. Get them together so there won't be none of that he said she said he said c**p.  Good luck!

Answer 4

then its time you sat him down and told him so

Answer 5

I can sympathise.  My father-in-law was a nightmare, his wife, by comparison, was an angel.

For some reason your father in law feels threatened.  My father in law tried to play games with me, and my only weapon was to cut myself off emotionally and refuse to join in.

I realised there was nothing I could do to please him, and I didn't want to turn into the kind of woman he would think suitable for his son - my fil was very old fashioned and his wife was a doormat.  It wasn't for me, so we simply rubbed along.  And then he died, and suddenly my marriage is much happier.  Horrible as that sounds.

I never want to subject my kids to that.

However, if you don't want to wait for something as serious as death to sort out your problems, speak to his wife.  She knows both he and you and perhaps she could shed some light on the matter.  

Or his daughter could speak to him and tell him how unhappy his behaviour is making you.

Answer 6

could you just ignore him? as long as you're both happy & his contempt doesn't escalate to down-right trouble, then you've won anyway. it isn't you, it sounds like he would have been the same to anyone she married & he's a sore loser! try not to show him how much it hurts you. if you just smile or laugh when he says something nasty, he'll learn eventually! good luck to you both. Diane.

Answer 7

She will always be his darling, innocent little girl.  He probably dislikes you because he imagines you doing all the nasty disgusting things he does to your mother in law (is she hot?).  Tell him that the only time you do degrading things to her is when she requests it.  And you never record those things on visual media.

Answer 8

Something tells me that there would never be anyone good enough for his little girl. Have you given him any grandchildren yet?

Answer 9

I gotta go with Prince Henry.  You need to sit the man down and have a heart to heart talk with him.  Tell him what you just told us and ask him why he still hates you after all these years of a good marriage.    Ask your wife to ask him if you think it would be too confrontational to meet with him.  He needs to let it go and stop acting out.  His baby is no longer a baby and his little girl has all grown up.  He needs to adjust his behavior.  Anybody have him checked out by a doctor as changes in behavior can be a sign of some detrimental medical conditions.

Answer 10

ask your wife first before you ask the world

if you and her are ok then sod him

Answer 11

Perhaps the silly old bugger will snuff it and give you a break !

Answer 12

Maybe you need to talk to your wife, is it really the father in law, or is it daddy's little girl crying to daddy about things you don't know about.. She must be telling him things in order for him to feel this way about you.. So talk to your wife man.. something doesn't smell right.. Good Luck.. :)  keep us posted..

Answer 13

Why are you letting this bother you ? its obviously his problem so dont make it yours.

Carry on being amicable and respectful and hold your head high, your wife has chosen you so be proud, he is jealous thats all as he has lost his little girl (my dad was the same).

Let him have his way and smile graciously, its a pity you cant go down the pub for a man to man chat but I think after 7 years this aint gonna happen. The situation doesn't seem like its going to improve after all this time so rise above it.

Good luck.

Answer 14

I'm with you there!!!!

My MIL was an angel, but my FIL was h**l. (I am getting divorced). He'd call about 6 times everyday, let the phone ring about 25 times... If we didn't answer the home phone, he'd call my husband's cell phone, let it ring 20 times, then mine, and then, if we didn't answer, he'd send someone to knock on our appartment door! Come on! We weren't allowed our own life. He'd call my husband and want to know everything he's done during the day, what he ate, etc.

He'd yell at me, when times were rough between my husband and I, telling me he'd get a restraining order against me so I couldn't reach my husband!!! He'd tell my husband I wasn't a good wife because I wanted to finish my bachelor degree, that I should stay home and cook, clean, etc, that I was stupid for not changing my surname.

He'd show up unannouced all the time, and would buy things "for my husband" that my husband didn't need, and then his dad told him he had to pay him back!!!

He was mean to me, insulting me, trying to control me when he couldn't control his son. We were 22 and 24 and my husband had to HIDE to drink a beer. His dad created so much trouble between us, it's incredible.

Thank God I don't ever have to see the man again!