My son will soon be getting married and I was hopeful that I would be able to help out. I knew going into this that the groom's mother gets little to do, but I hoped it would be different. I was wrong. Every time I offer my help, my FDIL tells me very bluntly that things are already done, my suggestions aren't to her taste, my ideas have already been thought of. She has never once asked my opinion or advice or asked me a question about how to make my side of the family feel welcomed at the wedding. The thing I hear most often, though is, "I'm sorry, I am only doing fill-in-the-blank, with just my mom" or "It's a mother-daughter thing" and "I don't want my mom to be left out."
What about me being left out? I know this wedding isn't about me, but I would too, like to get in on the girly things. I told my son that I felt left out and he said I could help him with his side of the preparations, but it is not the same thing as doing girly stuff. FDIL and her mom are even doing the rehearsal dinner. The caveat to all this: I overheard FDIL tell her mom she had no idea why I wanted to help with the wedding so bad and that it is inappropriate, because I already have a daughter and that I will have "my turn" when she gets married. FDIL went on to tell her mom that I am overstepping my bounds and that this is "not my turn" and to get over it.
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