FUNNY QUOTES PLEASE!?

Question

Please!!!!!

Answer 1

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.  

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Answer 2

I could tell my parents hated me ... my bath toys were a toaster and a radio  

lol hope i help :)

Answer 3

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? "

Answer 4

Here are some of my favorites:

Wherever you go, there you are.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I've been waiting so long to see the doctor, I think I recovered.

You can either agree with me, or be wrong.

I like work, it fascinates me.  I can sit and look at it for hours.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always be what you've always been.

Forgive your enemies.  It makes them wonder what you're up to.

Funny -- I don't remember being absent minded.

Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

People can be divided into three groups:  those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what's happening.

If you think you know everything, you have a lot to learn.