Faithfulness- Who is worse --physical /emotional? pls help.....?

Question

Me and my bf are in a long distance relationship. we were separated immediately after we started dating.

He came form a very conservative family, never had any relationship(s*x) before. But, after going to overseas, he was dragged into the addiction of going to massage places where special services were provided. He was doing it couple of times and finally he had intercourse with one of the masseur. It happened in a extended period of time and he was struggling to get rid of it. Finally, after 6mnths, he confessed about it to me. And immediately he stopped everything, and became proper since then.

During the same timing, i (who had various relationship/s*x before this relationship) started having a minor crush for my (married male) teacher. It was so minor that initially it appeared normal. But later it became quite bad and obvious. He started responding too. However, it was all very subtle and silent. We never communicated and we never did anything bad physically. But it agitated our mind. It continued/became worse even after i confessed about it to my bf. It took around a 6mnths more to disappear. Now everything is gone and fine.

During those period, my bf never blamed me. He was very understanding and helped me w/ my situation/agitation. But i was very angry and did scold him till the point of breaking up with him for his action (though i helped/understood him too). One more thing, we(me and my bf--being conservative) weren't sexually close before.

My question: I want to know, which one is worse --having physical s*x without feeling, or silent emotional(no love just crush) without any action. Should I break-up with him? Both of us do love each other.

Answer 1

Emotional

Answer 2

I think the physical s*x is worse because there was a verb involved. But regardless  of who did what, if th two of are going to have any kind of relationship, I suggest you both wipe the slate clean, chalk it up to an experience learned, and start again. You can't expect a relationship to work if there is no trust between the two of you. It just won't work.

Answer 3

I do not believe there is any one worse.

But, both made an error, both came clear, both didn`t do it again.

You also state you both love one another.

There would be no reason to " forgive and forget " and move on - together.

Just don`t stay separated by geography much longer, for that is usually worse.

Answer 4

physical is much worse in my opinion

Answer 5

If you both love each other, then you should work it out. Falling in love with someone is not something you can control. Don't let anything get in your way. I just let someone go that I love, because he didn't really love me, just what I could do for him. Yeah, it hurts, but all hurts heal. Don't let go of true love.

Answer 6

Personally I think having physical s*x is so much worse - even without feeling. Perhaps without the emotion there is even worse.  If there was some kind of emotional attraction in the situation then perhaps there was some amount of reasoning within the action.  Everyone gets crushes, you can't be blamed for that, and it doesn't mean you're unfaithful.

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

Physical is much worse.  If you decide to stay, this may effect your relationship, in the long run.  Especially, if you can forgive and not forget.  You may need some time alone to get over the hurt you are feeling.  Sometimes, even the visual aspect of it - he with another female.  Time will heal your hurt.

You had a crush.  Everyone has had one.  You did nothing wrong.  It did not lead to touching and lying down to have s*x.  Let it go.