Family Adopting Family?

Question

I'm a teen pregnant for the second time. i choose to keep my first baby with no hesitations. this time around i considered many options. i was adopted myself and it was not a happy life for me. it took 13 years to get settled and i've never wanted to put a child through that but i am also very against abortions although i considered one as my only option. my older brother has been with his wife for 12 years and they cant have children of their own and they are wonderful with my first child. so i'm pretty much asking all of you what your opion on having my brother adopt the baby. i asked him how he would feel and he's for it. how would we explain it to the baby later in life? keeping the baby for myself is not an option i have my hands full as it is.

Answer 1

first off, you're a teen pregnant for the second time? you really need to start taking better care of yourself, and i'm sure you've heard that before. second of all, it's a good idea to have your brother adopt, this way you are still in the picture and don't necesarily have to completly give your child away. it may be hard on the baby later on in life if you ever decide to let the truth be known, but i think she/he will eventually look back at her life and understand why you did what you did and be greatful that at least you stayed nearby.

Answer 2

I think that would be awesome.  I am sure when the time comes to tell the child things will come to you.  I adopted a little guy and when he is old enough to comprehend he will be told about his adoption we will always just be honest and open about the whole thing!!!

Answer 3

good idea!

Answer 4

i think its a good idea,they should tell him sooner or later in life,it better in your family.

i pray for you.

i wish it was easy and i could adopt many :)

Answer 5

Mary I think that is a fine idea.  I am so glad you chose not to have  an abortion.  I think the child will be happy you kept it in the family when its old enough to understand.  It will be hard for you though watching someone else be the Mother to your child.  She may have different ideas than you on raising the child and you won't be able to interfere.  It's going to be hard.  I am not going to give you a lecture on your behavior but please use birth control, you are far too young for this responsibility that you have been burden with.  I wish you the best for you and the children.  God Bless.

Answer 6

Wow!  PLEASE think about the conflict that the child will have as he/she grows up eventually realizing that you kept one child and didn't keep him/her.  

You really need to think long and hard about that plan.  How close are you to your brother?  Will you be able to spend holidays with the baby as he/she grows?  I don't mean will you have the opportunity, I mean will you be capable of being that close to a baby that you gave birth to?  

I am all for the idea of adoption.  However, if it were my child, I would put the baby up for adoption to another family. I personally know that I wouldn't be able to watch the baby grow.

Answer 7

Sounds like a good plan. Hire an attorney, your brother would be the one who pays for it ($5000) and go through the proceedings the legal way. It is called an open adoption and you can do this with a known family member, or any family that you choose. The attorney will write up the agreement (will you have legal right to visit...etc, etc. needs to all be in the agreement) If your brother dies, will his wife continue to have sole parental rights and exclude you? These are all things to consider andthat hte attorney can write in the adoption agreement.

Answer 8

I think that is a wonderful idea.  I personally offered to adopt my little brother's coming child when the mother and he had talked about adoption.  Turned out the mother kept the child and it was not my brother's after all.  I know a little girl who is 9 and she lives with her Aunt, but she has been told all along what the situation is and seems just fine.  I know others that were not told until they were older, that their parents were really their grandparents and that sort of thing.  It is up to you how to handle it, but i think giving your child up for adoption to your brother is a good idea for everyone.

good luck!

Answer 9

Keep in mind you have to be willing to let go of this child, if you can do it then OK, it means you can see the child but not butt in any of this child's life. I too was adopted by a family member, my bio Mom was around all the time. It was hard because I felt a loyalty too her when I found out, an I knew how much it hurt my parents. It took a long time and many tears, but I finally got to the point where I was very thankful My Bio Mom was unselfish and did this because I had the most wonderful parents any kid could have ask for. I'm in My 60's now, my parents are gone and whenever I see my Bio at family reunions I make it a point to thank her.