Family and emotional problems?

Question

I'm sick of being a hateful person full of rage. I even abuse my family and my small dog. I act like a aloof, reserved, respectable young lady in public and control my rage in public, but at home more like the demon I really am. I guess I don't want to go jail for assault. I'm a misanthrope and anger at everything and everyone. I don't want to be a normal teen, who have a normal life w/ a social life. I'm addicted to the adrenaline rush I get from being in rage/ abusive mode, in this mode I feel like a supreme, ethereal goddess. After I experience this mode I feel a sense of euphoria and joy. I even sick enough to abuse the juggle, the dog. I been this way since preschool, I guess because my father was abusive. I gotten spankings for this behavior, but it doesn't really help me, it's only gotten worse. And sometimes I cut myself if I can't hurt someone or break something. I angry enough to kill someone. I think I'm in love with being angry and hateful.I'm 15 and really in need of help

My mom divorce my dad, when I was 3

Answer 1

It sounds to me like a biochemical problem.

Do you know about Bi-polar Disorder, where people go from depressed to euphoric/happy?  Some people go from depressed to angry/raging instead.

Then there's just plain old Depression, where the mood doesn't switch back and forth.

But there's also just Mania, where it's just anger/rage.  Does that sound at all like you?

Or maybe that doesn't sound right.  But what we do know is that you need help.  I'm guessing it's caused by a combination of your experiences and the chemistry in your brain messing around with you (just like the chemistry in my brain messes with me, telling me "be anxious! be afraid!")

Regardless of the cause, since you are serious about wanting to change, make an appointment to see your doctor.  A doctor can help you find counseling you need and may also suggest a medication to help you feel more calm.

Answer 2

would you want someone to treat you this way? try thinking of the other person's feelings before you do this. maybe that will help. also, I think it would help to see a doctor. No harm in talking to a doctor. Also, at 15 you have the hormone thing racing crazy through you. I tell you from experience teenage girls have it rough. they just do. but it does get better when you get older. really. I was a teen girl myself at one time and have raised 2 daughters. Probably the abuse hasn't helped the situation at all either. I am sorry you are experiencing this dilemma.  Please do talk to a doctor. I am sure you can be helped so you won't have to be tossed around by your emotions like this. best wishes to you.  

Answer 3

I kinda have the same problem except I dont hurt others anymore I just punch myself and cut myself eh go to a pschatrist  

Answer 4

It sounds like you've really had a hard time, but don't think that you are a bad person, you just need to find a better way to control your anger. Counseling is very helpful. The first few times may be awkward, or you might just be angry about the situation, but it really has helped people. Or, if you can't afford counseling, you could talk to your parents and try to find a way to control your anger. Like, when you get upset, just run to your bedroom and hit your pillow, or scream in your pillow, but you shouldn't ever hit anyone (even if it's really hard sometimes). :)  

Answer 5

In my opinion, you need to learn what causes you to feel the rage.  Do you have any certain feelings that you get right before the rage (butterflies, shaky, nervous, etc.)? Do you know hy you are angry?  Do you have a reason for the rage, or is it just there?  I have had the same feelings as long as I can remember.  I had to learn to control it when I got pregnant at 15.  I did not want to lose control and hurt my children.  Once you know what triggers the rage, you can learn what feelings you get right before you feel the rage, and then you can learn how to control it.  I find that removing myself from the situation until I calm down keeps me from getting violent.  I also used to cut myself instead of hurting someone else.  I have scars that will never go away that I have to explain to my children.  Think about the future, not just the present, when thinking about cutting yourself.  I think that the rage and violence is from the abuse you suffered (that what it was for me) and as you deal with what happened to you, it will get easier to control the feelings.  Good luck!

Answer 6

I suggest that you get interested in some type of contact sport where you can control your rage and channel it into something constructive.

I really do hope that you leave your dog alone as hurting a living thing can only have more dangerous repercussions for you later on in life when you get married and have children.