Family bugging me about getting married?

Question

Last night I was at my cousin's wedding and all of my great aunts and some of my older cousins kept saying to me, "So, when are we going to be coming to your wedding?" And they weren't joking either.

I'm only 18, and while I've had boyfriends in the past I'm not currently in a relationship. So I'm not even close to being ready to get married. They know all this. We're a very close, large family.

I just kept saying, "Oh, It'll be at least a couple year." but they kept acting like I was being ridiculous, and they wouldn't let it go.

Now my other cousin is getting married in a couple months and I'm going to have to see everyone again. To make matters worse, the cousin getting married is only 19/20 (she 19 right now, she'll be 20 by the time she's married), and her fiance is the same age as me.

How am I supposed to respond when my family is bugging me about getting married? I don't want to be rude because like I said we're a close family and I don't want anyone to get mad at me.

Answer 1

Just tell them, "when and if I meet the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and not before".  

Answer 2

Your life, your choices. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for being yourself. Don't get married until you find the right man.

Answer 3

Be honest. Tell them it's none of their d**n business. They will know when they get an invitation!

Answer 4

just tell them you havent found the right person yet, and you still have stuff you want to do before you get married and have a family and start a big responsible life. tell them you want to find the right type of guy to be your kids father and you just havent found him quite yet.

Answer 5

Tell them you've decided to become asexual, or g*y, or to become a nun.  Chose one and say it with a straight face, then excuse yourself everytime the conversation comes up.  Nothing saves the day, or shuts someone up, like well placed, well timed humor.  

Tell them you're trying your best to delay a divorce by delaying a wedding date!  Sorry, but enough already.

If you can't learn to handle their barrage of questions, or if you're actually worried about what they think to the extent that you do, you are not ready for marriage.  A wedding ceremony alone is so political and stressful that you wouldn't survive.  Stand up to these people in a respectful way.

Answer 6

tell them its your decision. and you dont havea boyfriend anyways. besides, its not your decision to propose. especially since you havent started a new relationship yet, theyre going to have to wait a couple years either way. because you cant just marry someone you just met. besides, youre 18, go party. but dont waste your life away.

Answer 7

just tell them straight that you have not met the man of your dreams yet and you dont want to be forced into a marriage and then regret it after. They might not take the news with a smile on their faces but at least it will get the message through

Answer 8

if youre a close family they wont be too mad at you for tellin them like it is, just tell them, im not ready to get married yet, i havent found the right person, but when i do you guys will all be first to know... they may lay off for a while.. im married now, im 21 and my man is 20, his bday is just 2 months after mine so his is comin up in sept.  im happy being married at my age, but its not for everyone.. i dont want kids for at least 5 years.....

be honest with your fam and stay true to yourself.. young men are immature and will not be the same person you married

Answer 9

Look they are your great aunts. In their time when they were young things were different. They are a lot older than you. Nowadays two people most often have to go to work. So you have to have your education finished and you should have some work experience and of course you meet someone one day first.. and if the chemistry is right you both fall in love. Then it's still a good idea to live together without marrying right away after you get to know that other person.. Live together and see how it goes in daily life together before you get married.. When I was your age I never had had  a BF yet. I was 22 years old when I met my partner. We moved together after having known each other for 8 months and got married 2 years after that.. and that was 20 years ago. So I was 25 when I got married and I believe you got to wait until you find the right person and definitely not let yourself get pressurized into a marriage. The modern woman has to have gone to work or keep on going to work after the marriage. It may have been different in the past, when marriage was meant to provide ''financial security for the woman... I believe love is more important. It is the most important component of a relationship - we don't get married nowadays just to be financially secure and you don't know what will happen to your cousin who is getting married in some months. I wish them both a lot of love and happiness but they are very young and it won't be easy...

Answer 10

your family seems like they were raised the old-fashioned way. you don't have to get married till you're old. you will not be socially shunned, you just haven't found the right guy. besides, having a husband will distract you from college.

Answer 11

Don't let ANYBODY rush you with something so serious as marriage. That's a huge commitment. Don't listen to them, you will know when your ready.