Family crisis what should we do?

Question

Before my husband and I met, he had a one night stand with a woman that over a year later contacted him saying that she had a baby from him. my husband was always scared to tell me and kept paying her under the table child support for the past two years. He never saw the child and does not want parental rights. I just found out about this a couple of days ago and I am so upset that I lost 6 pounds! I told him to stop paying her immediately and demand a paternity test. She said that she only will do that through the courts and that he will have to pay much more and that she will make his life much harder if he wants that. We insisted upon it. She gave us the name of a lawyer whom we contacted that has no idea who she is. we called her yesterday to make sure we have the right info, but she avoided the question and said that she was on vacation for a month. I was really pissed and called her telling her that we don't care if she is on the moon this needs to be resolves asap and that

Answer 1

I'd say get a lawyer that specializes in family law.Good luck hun.

Answer 2

Call the Maury Povich show

Answer 3

I would demand a paternity test, if there is a child at all.  Then if you find out she lied, take her to court and get every dime she owes yall.  I think that could be considered theft by deception  or something.

Answer 4

You can consult with an attorney for a nominal charge to get advice on how to handle this. The money you spend for and attorney now may saw not only a huge amount of money in the long run, if she choose's to continue to extort money from your husband. By doing this as a team you and your husband  have less of a chance of this hurting your relationship more. Women like her want to cause others pain.

Support your husband and investigate your options. If the child is his you will have to pay support and you should be involved in this childs life. It is not her fault her mother is a ????? fill in the blank. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

My advice to you is from the point of view of divorce and child custody related issues and having performed marriage ceremonies through the years.  Presuming that you and your husband did not get married on the steps of the Court building, both of you made a public confession of your undying love for each other.  And, God was invited into the marriage relationship.  Don't leave God on the pages of history, be sure he is a part of the marriage today.  Earnest prayer never hurt anyone on a regular basis.  

If you trust your husband, let him take the lead to resolve this issue and you stay behind him.  I would suggest mediation or an arbitrator before securing a lawyer and court. Lawyers and Courts do not love the family, it does not care about the marriage, court fees, court related costs can financially break the family.  If you can settle it out of court, the better for everyone, but cooler heads must prevail.  

Someone has to be an adult in the room and apologize for the harsh words, and overlook the conduct.  Secondly, all involved should make a presumption on doing what is best for the child.  Trying to make a point and counterpoint will guarantee a spiral into court.  Raise the level of conversation to a polite tone, again, I think the husband should be at the point.  This may seem like the end of the world, but it is not.  Your husband made a mistake, let your husband spearhead fixing it.  In the meantime, hold his hand, take walks in the park and dream about what the two of you will do after this is over.  Tell him he owes you a beautiful vase with Red Roses and babies breath that equal your age and his.  

I am so sorry that this is what you have to deal with, but your marriage is bigger than this problem and he loves you. Try to take a deep breath and trust that this will be resolved without court, through mediation.  Peace.

Answer 6

Wow she is rediculous! I'm sorry she is not handling this maturly like she should be.

The only advise I can say is finding yor husband a family court defense attourney and try to keep contacting this woman.

Good luck!