Family disapproves of man i want to marry?

Question

Me and my bf of 4 years want to get married in the next couple months

the problem is that his family will have a problem with me but will accept it but my family will reject the proposal and disown me if i marry him

my mom has been knowing all about it but now that its time she wants to disown me if i go along with it but she says that my in laws will treat me horribly and etc.

we both are muslim but from two different countries

religiously we can get married

how can i get my father to approve who never knew i ever dated? and my father has a guy ready for me to marry?

what are some possible ways

Answer 1

Given the fact those are very old customs there is very little chance your families will change their minds.

You need to choose, your family or him.  

Answer 2

You must have your father meet the guy you love. See what they have in common and if they like each other. If your father likes him he will tell you yes because he wants you to be happy. Otherwise don't marry this guy.

Also, in the long run you will be happier with a guy from the same country and same culture. If this guy that your family has ready for you finds out that you had a boyfriend, he might not want you any more.

Best thing is to have a college degree and a job so you can be financially independent and then take your time to think and choose the right guy. If you are financially independent your family can only suggest something, but they cannot force you to do anything. Also you can get a job in a city away from your parents. Also find a guy who is also well educated, hard working and who loves you.  

Answer 3

You know I'm in the same boat, my parents don't approve of me being engaged to my fiance.  They even went as far to tell him that he does not have their blessing and that when we get married they will not support us or even show up for the wedding.  

I love my fiance and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.  Sooooooo what I'm sayin I guess is follow your heart, do what makes you happy.  If they don't support you that is THEIR problem not yours. Yes, its going to hurt to not have them there for you but you know what it is your decision to make not theirs.  Tell them that you appreciate their concern but that you love your finace and that it would really mean a lot to you if they supported you, but if they can't you understand and regardless you are going to do what makes YOU happy,  In time they will hopefully come around.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

i would have a sit down talk with your parents and explain how happy he makes you. explain that you being happy should make them happy. as long as this man treats you well, doesn't abuse you in anyway, and will be able to provide for you... they should accept him and realize you can make good choices even if they aren't the ones they would make.  

Answer 5

i was in a similar situation, it was my grandmother who had 'picked' someone for me.

i suggested running away and all the other dramtic attempts to avoid the problem. but why should we ruin what is meant to be such happy time for us? we fell in love right? we didn't go looking for it?

you haven't been sleeping around, you've been with this guy for a while, so you know hes a keeper. the balls on your side - kick and aim high

tell your parents you'll meet the guy they choose if they meet ur bf,

i also think you should do it 1 parent at a time.

so him an his mum, you and your mum

Answer 6

If your parents want to disown you because you're following your heart, then they're not your parents. It's hard to let go, but you need to if you're in love. Don't speak to them...just LET GO.  

Answer 7

you know the muslim law. You know your husband was already pick for you. You know if you marry this other man that you will be disowned.

If you really love your bf and you are happy than being disowned is worth it.

Why marry a man you know nothing about and you don't love him.

I don't think it fair to you.

Have you try talking to your parents or have your bf try talking to your father?

May be your family and his family should get together and talk.

Good luck

Answer 8

wow... thats taugh... i would say follow ur heart ..... but i dont know ur culture and i rly dont want to oppose... but in all cultures love is love rights... my dad dosnt rly approve of me and my bf relationship but he knows i love him and its more then people putting our relationship down... i dont know but i know so cultures is diffrent from what im use to.. so with all respect i gave u my 2 cents on this matter... but good luck with ur situation

Answer 9

Because her father has someone lined up for her to marry, i say go for gold! (Sorry, couldn't help the Olympic reference:P) and marry him. AKA the one you chose.