Family don't want me to work?

Question

I'm 24 weeks pregnant,just got a job (july 21,2008 as cashier at a grocery store) temp/part-time. For the last week or so i've been getting contractions,which is a bad sign,b/c it's way too early. My fiance and his mother wants me to stop working and rest 'till i give birth, but the thing is, I just got this job and it will look bad on my history,but then i also want a healthy baby boy. I have off work today,and plan on calling the ob/gyn office to talk to a nurse and see what their advice is. But i really don't know what to do, i want to leave but then i don't, i hope you understand why. My fiance's mother she yelled at me saying "I TOLD YOU NOT TO WORK" and now my fiance is starting to say that. I thought if i get a job that brings in more money and helps us out,and gets me out of the house for awhile,but instead i get yelled at and start getting contraction's. But what's your advice?

Answer 1

Tell her she needs to mind her own business. If you are going to marry her son you need to set up sopme boundaries NOW. This means she does NOT EVER tell YOU what to do with YOUR life.

Unless you want her to control the rest of your life you better start standing up to her. If your future husband can not handle this then he better be preparred to simply pay child support while you get on with your life.

Women have been doing much harder jobs than grocery store clerk for millions of years while pregnant, it isn't going to harm the child unless your doctor TELLS YOU it will harm the child, and this would be an extreme circumstance. Rely on the advice of a professional, not a mother-in-law.

Answer 2

Why don't you make a compromise? Ask them if you can work for 6 more weeks (then you will be 30 weeks pregnant). I can understand their worry but right now all you really need is some time out. If everyone works and you are home that must be very boring for you. Explain to them that you really want this job and if anything happens give them the name of the nearest hospital and tell them you will always have your cell phone on (if you have one).

Lemme add something else though. The health of your baby is crucial at the moment and if you ever get tired while working close down your register after the next person in line and sit down, rest, drink some water. Don't be afraid to do what is best for your baby.

Answer 3

It is admirable that yhou want to work but now is the time to look after yourself and your baby. There will be plenty of time to work in the future. A job where you are going to be doing a lot of standing is not good if you are having contractions. You need to take easy. Tho if my mother in law started  yelling at me to do something, it would make me want to do the opposite

Answer 4

You need to get some advice from a medical professional as soon as possible.  It's not good to have cramps or contractions this early in your pregnancy.  You may need to be on a treatment.  I know of a lot of babies who were born early and have had lots of problems.  But! There is something they can do to prolong early labor if you'll just go get checked out.  Make an appointment, don't call.  Just go.  

Tell your fiance and his mother not to yell at you too.  You're pregnant and stress is hard to handle when you're pregnant.  Tell them that they need to learn how to be sensitive to you right now.  You're torn between providing for your baby and the health of the baby.  Find an OB/Gyn or midwife to discuss this with and FOLLOW their advice.

Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 5

Don't worry about your resume, unless you plan on going back to the same job afterwards you do not even need to include a job that lasted only a couple weeks.  Unless you really need the money it would probably be better to quit the job now but double check with your doctor and get their opinion, it may just be the perfectly safe Braxton Hicks contractions.  If you are going crazy staying at home then maybe you can volunteer somewhere- my town has a pregnancy/women's health center where lots of pregnant women volunteer.  The benefit of volunteer work is that you don't have to feel guilty if you can't do a full day or need to take a long break.  It gets you out of the house and gives you something to feel good about too.  

Answer 6

Do what your DR says and don't worry about the others. As for leaving your job right now don't worry about that there is a law called FMLA Family Medical Leave ACT http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/

Answer 7

I think the people who first tell you to work then they the yell at you and tell not to work, they are the craziest people on the world. Maybe they are angry with you coz you are too young to be pregnant.

Answer 8

Well I can understand that you need financial independence.. I don't want to scare you but I started getting fake contractions from about 26 weeks and then I gave birth nearly ten weeks early at 31 weeks. I think if you are getting that much stress from your family it might be better that you give up just until after you are ready to go back to work. I hope everything goes well for you and babe, good luck...

Answer 9

Okay so the extra cash would NICE, but at the risk of you and your child's well being is it really worth it. Your fiance's mother is tell you not to work obviously cause she's been there and do that. Rest and Enjoy your pregnancy. all the best of luck.....:).  

Answer 10

get the drs opinion... when/if he says your fine to continue workin then tell her keep her smart a $$ comments to herself if he  says dont work ... well then dont work have him write you a letter stating that he is taking you off of work and your job will be covered.... wish you luck

Answer 11

you need to talk to your doc

it may be you need to go on bedrest

women can work during pregnancy but only if they are healthy and its all going corect, women used to work before when they did, but only if their body was up for it

it wont look bad on your record because you will get a doctors note  that you can show to explain you wasnt well and on bed rest orders

Answer 12

all those people yelling and screaming at you in the home can't be too good for you either.

If the job is endangering your pregnancy then it's a no brainer, you don't work.  You turn in your notice with the explanation of why you have to leave.  

You've been at this job such a short time you won't even have to mention it on a resume (unless you later look for something that requires a full disclosure background check for security purposes--then you tell why you left--health reasons/high risk pregnancy)

Answer 13

I think its great that you tried to help out, and I am sorry you got yelled at. However, if your getting contractions maybe you should slow down on the work. Maybe put less hours in if that is possible. I am sure your employer will understand. And congrats on the baby!

Answer 14

My advice is not to do anything that jeopardises your unborn child in any way.  It will not look bad on your resume, you simply advice people you left because you fell pregnant.  Let me ask you how you will feel if you lose the baby.  Do you think you could ever forgive yourself?  Money can always be made later.

Answer 15

rest! your pregnant!!  

Answer 16

if you wanna make money for the baby and stuff you should work and earn some money atleast but be careful of what you do .. like don't bend down don't run or anything...but if you want to be secure and have a healthy baby when its born then i'd sugest to stay home atleast

Answer 17

ok you need the money but you want to have a healthy babie too & if your fiance says you can stay home then just do it

i dont see why not?>

you will have plenty of time to work after..

Answer 18

there probable braxton hicks contractions and there nothing to worry about, but i would advise you to go to the doctors then you know for sure it isn't anything serious as lots of people put off going to the doctors and can end up having a miscarriage. as for the job, it's up to you, if your comfortable with it and you not in pain or discomfort and you enjoy it stay and do what you do it's your life and you're carrying the baby, so explain to them that you want to the job to help out, and earn a bit of money, if your walking around a bit it's goof exercise, which somehow helps the baby- i don't know how it just does. and say as soon as it gets too much or you are struggling you will quit with a weeks notice or straight away, if arguingng becomes too much of a problem talk to your fiance and explain to thatthta if your going to argue over this, then what's it gonna be like in the future with the big descitions and when people get ill. it also isn't fair that your fiance's mother is lookign down on you shouting at you, i hope this helped.

congratulations on the wedding and your baby boy, hope it all goes well. x

Answer 19

Do you NEED the $$ in order for you & your baby to survive? If not, STAY HOME & REST for you & your baby. If you do need the $$, talk to your DR & see what he/she has to say....Everything will work out the way it's suppossed to, it always does ;)  

Answer 20

ask 4 money every minute...