Family fight-I need some help (inheritance)?

Question

My mother cannot wipe her butt without asking me or my boyfriend a question. She doesn't have a computer or credit card or debit card.(she has $$$$, though) To make a long story short-she went and had my Great Gram ma's wedding rings appraised and gave them to my cousin totally behind my back. I know my Aunt is behind all this and I wrote them all a nasty letter. Now the entire family has taken sides.

I always send cards on every holiday to all my elder relatives, call, etc.

My cousin does NOTHING at all for anyone. There has been fights for years over who gets what. I am so upset that my Mom did this behind my back. I have been crying for six days, I can't stop. My Mom sent me a check for the value of the rings and some stock. I tore it up-Almost $6,000.00. I cannot be bought.My mom says I said it was OK to give my cousin the rings. I never said that and what do I do???

Answer 1

You sound very disrespectful (your opening sentence) and if you are willing to write/ post something like that I'm sure you've mouthed off at Mom more than once too.

Nasty letters to all the relatives....well, is starting a family feud a just compensation for your 'aggrevement'? Judging by the opening sentence again I can just imagine what you said.

The cold hard reality is the rings were HERS to give away or do with what she chooses to......she gave them to your cousin....could be out of the kids or girls of your generation in the family the cuz is the eldest great grand child...or maybe she doesn;t have a mouth like yours.

Fights about who gets what? Maybe cuz didn't get involved in it...and you did. the meek shall inherit the earth...maybe in this case it was the rings.

Then you Mom cuts you a check for the entire value of the ring and some stocks...and you tear it up? Wow......

What do you do? Nothing as far as the ring....you really have no legal say as far as who gets it...if it was in your Mom's posession then that means it was given to her and she can change her mind as far as who gets it....so hire a lawyr and pay to fight it in court...but unless great gram stated it is to go to you and only you specifically, oh well, your dead in the water.........what to do about your attitude? You tell me......good luck to your poor mother.Bet great gram is turning over in her grave over all the stupid bickering.What a way to honor the lady's memory. And the ony hater here is you...if you don;t believe me, read your question....it's dripping in vitriol.....

Answer 2

Grow up.  You shouldn't be controlling your mom with what she decides to do with HER mother's things.  Maybe if you weren't always rubbing her face in the fact that she "needs" you so much, she would have wanted to give the rings to you?

Why not teach your mom how to use debit cards, etc., so she can be self-sufficient?  I know, b/c then you won't have control anymore.

You got better than you deserved when she offered you the money.

Answer 3

grow up, its ridiculous to argue over who gets what, a will or no will remember the person who DIED for who they were not what they gave you, thats why when I die Im leaving everything to the state. It sounds to me like your the hater!!!!

Answer 4

There is nothing you can do it has already been done.

Answer 5

a question i have is, was the ring every promised to you or did your great grandma instruct your mother to give it to you?

if not, i'm sorry it was in your mom's possession and she was allowed to do what she wanted. considering that's your cousin, i'm assuming that was her great grandma as well and she would also like a piece of her!

if the ring was promised to you. ask another check and see if your cousin will exchange the money for the rings or you could try talking to your cousin directly and explain.

best wishes

Answer 6

Is it possible that your Great Grandma wanted her to have the rings?

I find it sad that families allow this sort of nonsense to come in between them...

Very, very sad - and I bet your Great Grandma is turning in her grave.

Answer 7

What's done is done.  I understand you are upset about the rings, but life is too short to spend crying over it.  Were you promised the rings? Had it been discussed that you would get the rings eventually?  If it isn't about the money why did you care to include that your mom had money?  I think its more than just the issue of the jewelry and I think you should sit down and calmly talk with your mom about it.

Good luck.

Answer 8

I woulda been glad to take that 6 grand off your hands before you tore it up. I don't think you totally thought that part through rationally. Nothing wrong with taking the money and still being pissed off..

Answer 9

I know you won't like my answer but sometimes the truth is hard to swallow.  The fact is, this was your MOTHER'S inheritance and she decides if she wants to give something away.  This wasn't your decision to make.  If you had such a sentimental attachment to the rings, then I feel sure your grandmother would have left the rings to YOU but she didn't. She left thing to your mother.  Look, I understand why you'd be torn up about this and that you may be used to your mom consulting you on everything but the fact is, she IS a grown woman and doesn't need your permission to do things.  It's her life, her inheritance and her issues.  All you can do at this point is MATURELY tell her how hurt you feel about it because you wanted those rings and then move on.  Life is far too short to spend it sending nasty letters to family members, ranting to your mother, or throwing yourself a pity party.