Family meal vs. interesting science project- which is more important?

Question

Please help me with this issue that has been troubling me a great deal.

Family dinner is important here. It is the only time when we can all sit down at the table together; that is, my SO, my two sons, and myself. It's a sacred time that we all value quite a bit.

However, my six-year old and I have launched a moth and butterfly hatching project. Right now, we have four 10-gallon aquariums occupying our dinner table. It is a pain in the butt to move them every night, and they are quite heavy (filled with dirt). Finally, I do not like disturbing the delicate chrysalises and cocoons inside.

We live in a small, cramped apartment and there is nowhere else to put the aquariums. For the past week, we've been eating meals on the floor in the family room.

I keep telling myself that this is only temporary, as most of the moths will hatch within a month or two. But, I can't help but feel guilty about sacrificing our family dinner at the table together. We do still eat as a family, but we are scattered about the room.

Your thoughts?

Answer 1

It is still very much a family meal if you are all together in the same room. I think if anything, it adds a fun element to all be together eating picnic style on the floor. So long as the tv is not on and there are no other distractions, I still think it can be a sacred family time.

Other thoughts...while the weather is still decent can you eat outside on a picnic table or even in the grass on a blanket?

Answer 2

It's fine and it's temporary.  You are doing two great things for your son.  Having dinner with them and providing them with a valuable learning experience.  

Answer 3

It's not something that you will be doing forever.....so enjoy the time spent together and get back to the family meals when the project is over.

Answer 4

The location isn't relevant - it's the time spent together that counts.

We have lots of projects on our table, too, and we often eat in another room.  

Don't feel guilty - you are a great mom!  Let us know how the experiment goes.

All the best.

Answer 5

The big picture is always what's most important.  You value dinner time and your boys will grow up with that instilled in them.  Having taken off two months to do a very fun and exciting project will not derail this.  Corey will look back and think how awesome it was that you hatched moths and he probably will think it was cool you ate in the living room for a few weeks.  Spicing things up-even just where you eat-adds flavor to your life and allows new and fun experiences to take place.  Hey, rolling the pepper across the floor to one another is fun isn't it?

Answer 6

Why not put them on the floor in the family room and just leave them there?

Answer 7

The science project IS important.  So is dinner.  If the weather is decent where you live, why not eat outside?  Take the family to the park, or a grassy spot somewhere.  Do you have a balcony or patio area?  You can set up a table there.  Or go to Costco and buy a cheap card table and chairs.  It's the family time that is important, not where you do it.  

Why not get (borrow, buy, whatever) one of those folding card tables and put it (and the dirt boxes) in your son's room?  Or put the project on a card table in the living room in a corner?  Or clear off a space somewhere else?  Look around and see if you can figure out another option.

Answer 8

you are together as a family have a picnic on the floor....

Answer 9

Sounds like you're doing both, which I'd say is best!

You're still having a family meal, so what if the seating arrangement changed.  Whether you're sitting on the floor at home, the ground at the park, the sand at the beach, or at the formal dining room and serving on the fine china.............. sitting together to eat and chat is what matters.

:)

Answer 10

Either way, you're spending time as a family. You can keep the items on the table and keep picnicking on a blanket on the floor in another room. as long as there are no serious discomforts or disruptions i don't see a problem.

Answer 11

You know, it is only temporary.  Occasionally my husband and I have our family meal (which I also think is SO important) on a blanket in the living room just for fun.  We call it a picnic and the kids LOVE it.  You might have to do this until the science project is over.  Just because you are not sitting around a dinner table in a more formal way doesn't mean that it's not a family meal.  A family meal means that you sit down together, whether it be on a blanket on the floor or at a well-set dining room table.  Instead of being scattered about the room, just put down a blanket and sit in a circle on the floor to eat.  That may make you feel that you are eating more together.  This sounds like something I would  have issues with also, and my husband would tell me to relax and get over it, that it's not worth the stress.  

Answer 12

For us, we've found that we have closer, more bonding and quality meals if we eat on the floor in the living room.  There's something about the table that seems to keep the focus on the meal and the food rather than on talking and enjoying our time together.  Of course we talk and enjoy ourselves, but it isn't the same as if we are sitting in the living room.

Since part of your guilt might me the importance that you have placed on the kitchen table, you can try to simulate a table in your family room.  Instead of being scattered about the room throw a quilt down in the middle of the floor and picnic.  Set the quilt like you would the table, maybe lay down some throw pillows where you want people to sit, and enjoy your on the floor table.  

The importance of family dinners is what they accomplish, now how they are done.  As long as you are bringing your family together, having everyone show some interest in each other's lives, talking, enjoying your time, and bonding, that is what is important.  

Answer 13

As long as you are all eating together in one room, who cares.  Maybe put out a picnic blanket and all eat on the floor.  That way it will feel more like you are all together.  Do you have any wall space where you can put the aquariums.  Any wall space at all, anywhere just temporarily.  Stepping around them may be better than having to move them every night.  Where do you put them when you do move them off the table.  Maybe that's a good temporary spot for now.

Answer 14

It doesn't matter where you sit really. What matters is that you are spending time together.

A while back we had a flood in our area and most of our furniture was destroyed. Luckily our coffee table in the living room survived just fine but our dining table and most of the chairs did not. So what we did while we were getting things fixed up, was we sat down, cross legged at the coffee table. We didn't turn the TV on or anything and we were still able to have our family dinner time.

My little girl especially loved it because we often turned it into a Japanese style dinner and by sitting on the floor she felt like it was even more authentic. To this day we still do this once in awhile when we have Asian food, just because it's fun, and different.

I wouldn't worry about it too much if it is just something temporary. But like I said, what matters is that you are together, all listening to one another, not necessarily that you are together in a certain place of the house.

Best of luck with your project, BTW. It sounds like fun!