Father denied access

Question

Hi

My boyfriend has a son who is nearly 2 years old. He is going through a lot of emotional turmoil over this situation and although it's not really my business I really want to help him.

The mother of his son only told my boyfriend about his son when he was 8 months old. They had been split up and she didnt tell him she was pregnant or that she'd had the child. They did a DNA test and he is the dad.

He pays his CSA money plus an extra £200 a month to her and she NEVER lets him see his son. He calls every weekend and asks if he can have him and she always says no. We live in London and she lives in Luton and she will not let him come to London even though he has family here that have never met him!!

She always calls and demands money for this, that and the other but wont allow him to see the boy.

I support my man but dont get involved with their situation as parents as I have no business doing so but I just wondered if any men are going through the same and what he could do to get access....this is tearing him apart.

I am pregnant too and his son will be related to our child and it is not right that he/she wont ever get to see his/her brother!!

Thanks!

Answer 1

I'm in the States, so I can only speak from this side, but I think your boyfriend should be able to take the mother to court to ensure visitation.  You are doing the right thing...STAY OUT OF IT.  Offer your opinion (slight opinion), but stay out of it and let him and the mother work it out.  You can give support without offering your bias opinion. :o) Good luck.  

Oh yeah...why is he paying extra money for the child?  I hope he makes sure he continues to pay...because at the end of the day...he doesn't want to look like a dead beat dad...but if he is serious about seeing his son and the mother is hindering visitations...he should be making arrangements to take her to court.

Answer 2

I have to say, I am going through the same exact thing here in Hawaii. Except I am going through it with two mothers. My husband has two son's and one he didn't know about until the boy was almost three and the other one lives near us and his mother never lets him see the boy. I am 6 1/2 months pregnant and want my baby to know her brothers. Women can be pretty terrible, the only thing I can tell you is to document everything, all of the missed visitation, make sure he can prove he's been paying her and how much and take her to court to file for his rights. I don't know about your country but there is no reason he won't be court ordered to have his visitation and if she refuses after that he make get full custody.