Fathers and abortion?

Question

Hi

I have been studying abortion (I study Health and Social Care, Child Development and Psychology) I have been reading a lot of articles where the Fathers of the unborn child has no say whether an abortion takes place or not, some go to court and the majority seem to lose their case. Obviously in some circumstances he should be ruled out all together for example rape but in most other situations I was wondering what other people thought, should the Father have more rights with abortion. We hear a lot about women and the affects of abortion but what about men?

Any thoughts

Thanks xxxxx

(Not sure what category this should be in, sorry)

Answer 1

i used to think that the man should have as much say as the women. but then i realised what it was like to be pregnant and give birth and how much discomfort and pain there is involved and now i fully understand that the woman is the only one who can choose. i don't really agree with abortion, but if i was in a situation where i didn't want the baby and the man said can't you have it and give it up to me i don't know whether i could do that...if i go through a full pregnancy and a labour then i am sorry but i am doing it because i am keeping the baby. if i make these changes and put my life on hold for that amount of time then i do so because i choose to and not someone else. i know this probably sounds selfish, but thats how i feel after giving birth to 5 children and being 28 weeks pregnant with my 6th...and like i say, i don't agree with abortion apart from in extreme cases where there is no choice

just to add, i would want my husband and i to both choose what we do, and i think women should give the men the rights, but they shouldn't have actual legal rights where they can make you go through with what they want whether to abort or keep the baby. how would someone feel if they were told even though they wanted to keep the baby, 'no this is my choice now and i want you to have an abortion' so the court orders you to do so. or if the court ordered you to go through a full term pregnancy, a full on labour, and all the rest of it in order to give the child to it's father. in giving the dad of the child full rights over this you would be forcing women to lose their rights

Answer 2

I do believe men should have a say as to whether they want the child, after all, it is half his.

However, think about it in the opposite way... imagine if he had a much bigger say and he wanted the girl to have an abortion? Then woman might be forced to have one if men have too much say over it. It causes a woman far more psychological pain to have an abortion than a man because she is biologically attached to it and thus it's easier for a man to feel fine about aborting a potential baby. Plus, there's no way you can prove paternity until the child is born. What if the supposed father pushed for the child to be born only to find out it wasn't his?

In spite of these set backs, I do feel that men would be able to push for a baby to be born if it is his. It takes two to tango and is not just the man's fault if a woman gets pregnant with his child (unless it's rape of course) and while a woman might not want or be able to take responsibility for a child, the father still might. In this society, this sort of attitude in a man is something that should be praised, not ignored. I do want men to have more rights but there are difficulties that need to be eradicated before implementing these rights.

Answer 3

I Agree With Abortion Just On The Basis That I Don't Agree With A Child Being Brought Into This World If It Isn't Wanted, But On The Other Hand I Believe The Number Of Weeks In Which The Abortion Is Carried Out Should Be Lowered To Something Along The Lines Of 12 Wks. ( Plenty Of Time To Make A Decision)

As For Whether Fathers Should Have A Say, That's A Tough One. Overall, Yes I Think They Should - It Takes Two To Tango And All - But Then You Have The Case Of If Mother Doesn't Agree, Who Has Final Say? Courts? Social Workers?

But I Don't Agree With Mothers Being Pressured Into Keeping Baby Just Cause Father Says NO To Abortion - End Of Day, It's Still The Woman's Body And Her Life!

Unfortunately - I Feel This One Will Never Be Resolved!!!

Answer 4

i think that if a man wants to stay home and raise the child, therefore ruining their career, while the woman goes to work, then fine.

Too mant men moan when a woman has an abortion, but wouldnt be willing to do 'the womans role' to bring up the child.

for example, they want the woman to have the baby, but wouldnt be willing to do what the woman would have to do in order the raise the child.

Answer 5

I really do not agree with abortion I mean think of it this way I wouldn't want my mom to kill me!!! But That is one thing that really make me mad about abortion!!!! I really hate the fact that fathers don't get a say!! I mean its their child too!!! If they don't let them make a decision then men should  also be able  to not pay child support too!!! I mean when they do this they are being hypocrites

Answer 6

I think men should have more rights in regard to abortion. It takes two people to have a baby, and the birth of a baby affects two lives forever.

I understand that if a father wanted to keep a child the mother then has to go through 9 months of pregnancy, and if she doesn't want it it could be very emotionally traumatizing for her. But if the father doesn't want to keep the baby then he has to go through 16 years of supporting the child (at least financially, possibly emotionally too).

I think fathers should have the right to 'sign away' his rights to the child if there is a disagreement regarding abortion (she wants it and he doesn't). They get the chance to decide whether to 'abort' all association with the unborn child. They should only get one chance to do this, and it must be before the fotus is too old for abortion - that way the mother can choose to continue by herself or not.

I absolutely don't condone men 'falling through' on heavily pregnant girlfriends or their own kids.

Maybe if this was put into effect, women would be more careful about who they sleep with, and who they risk getting pregnant with. The attitude of "Oh well, if it happens I'll just MAKE him take responsibility and pay child support" is quite acceptable for most people in todays society, where if a man displayed the attitude of "Oh well, if it happens I'll just make her have an abortion" he would be crucified. The discrepancy seems unfair to me.

If I got pregnant, my partner would have equal say in what happened to OUR baby.

Oh and for those who keep saying - "People who abort are monsters because they should have gone the adoption route"... well isn't that violating women's rights just like if a man tried to make her carry to term a child she didn't want?

Answer 7

Tough one and something i have been through more times than most probably?? Big regret now as i'm too old for kids and blew it some years back!! Generally we spoke about implications but 1 girlfriend didn't even ask me!!

Answer 8

Strong emotive subject.

As a women I have to say that its all down to us.  Its our bodies and we are the ones who carry the baby and go through all the ups and downs of this.

Until a baby is born its our decision.

However, I would say that the abortion limit is too late, and needs to be less.  It doesn't take that long to realise your pregnant after the first 4 weeks you should know, and then make a quick decision.

As far as I am aware the mother comes first and the baby second when faced with life or death decisions when going into labour, so therefore its the same when you get pregnant, the mother's wishes should come first.

In addition no one likes to be ordered around, especially when it is your body.

  

Answer 9

Here's the thing. The laws put into place to protect a woman from being coerced into an abortion are the same laws that keep a man from having any say about whether or not the woman has an abortion. Until we can fix the laws about coercion so that they actually work, we can't fix the system at all.

But it does affect the father, not physically, but emotionally, and much harder than most people seem to realize, especially the pro-choicers in the crowd. But yes, fathers who don't want their child to be aborted should have a right to speak up.

But then, we could really fix the system with better education. If women truly understood the effects of abortion on themselves, both physically and emotionally, they wouldn't want to have them at all, the great evil that is Planned Parenthood would be out of business, and we wouldn't need anti-abortion laws because the only reason a woman would get an abortion is in the case of an eptopic pregnancy, which is the only crisis pregnancy where we can't eliminate the crises without eliminating the baby, and, let's face it, we're getting close to being able to take care of that, as well.

And for those who argue about "well, what about deformities?" A deformity is NOT a reason to kill a child.

What about rape? Many women who have been raped and then have an abortion report that they often feel victimized and raped all over again after the abortion.

What if pre-natal testing shows that the child is going to be autistic or have Down syndrome? Again, not a reason to kill a child. My husband's youngest brother is severely autistic, and his parents would have throttled any doctor that suggested an abortion.

And, no matter what the case is, physical handicap, mental handicap, rape, youth, finances...whatever the reason, if you feel as if you can't care for the child, there's another option. It's called ADOPTION.

And if the father is willing to help care for the child, then his feelings should definately be taken into consideration.

Answer 10

I think Deborah has made a very heart felt and reasonable answer, and has enough credentials to do so with authority, so I only wish to second her opinion.

Whenever a couple has a good ongoing relationship, most likely the subject of having a child or waiting longer to have one will come up. So under normal circumstances, both usually have a say on the subject. If the couple has a healthy connection, most likely she will feel confident enough to admit a new member into the family or agree with starting one. So will he.

When a woman says no to a pregnancy without her man knowing about her decision or against his, it's hard to believe that she does that in spite of him being a supportive, understanding, companion and jeopardizing the wonderful bond between them. She takes the decision by herself because she is alone.

So the law doesn't have the means to interfere in the decisions taken by a couple. As Deborah has pointed out, the moral right is there from the beginning. No judge finds out when both are happy about it. Laws are there to protect women that have no support or not enough to go ahead with a pregnancy.

Is there any real life scenario where a woman would renounce to a good relationship with a man that's potentially a loving caring father because she refuses to have a child?

I don't think so but I'll check for comments.

Answer 11

I think if you are a couple the father should have a say, but for one night stands and such then no.

Answer 12

It may affect them but tough. When men can carry a baby themselves then they can choose. No man could say what happens to a womans body...a law like that would be open to ALL sorts of abuse.

Answer 13

thats a hard one

if i was ever gonna have an abortion id take my boyfriends oppinion into consideration but i do think its unfair that they dont have much say in the matter because half the babies theres.

if that makes any sense lol

Answer 14

Although I have to say it is sad when a man wants to keep the child and the woman does not, that he has no say in whether or not the termination goes ahead. No one can force another person to carry a baby against their wishes, even a loving father who would raise the child. The father should have no rights at all with abortion - sorry.