Fathers being present at birth?

Question

A question just now just reminded me of an article in the daily mail (it figures!) that states that fathers shouldn't be there at the births, for the benefit of the men. And I know men who have said 'ew no way!'...

But it just seems obvious to me that someone you love is at a risk of death, is going through pain and fear then obviously you'd want to be there to support them?

it's like if my husband was in a road accident, should I say 'eww no I'll wait at home, I don't want to see the blood and what if he holds my hand too tight in his pain?'

Answer 1

My father was present during my birth. (My mom had a C-section when she had my brother, so I don't know if he was around to see that.) Apparently it was the first time my mom saw him cry. He's not the type to care about the ew factor.

Answer 2

my partner was there when i had our son. he actually wanted to be there and i was very relieved at this. it was amazing. he held my hand the entire time, helped me through contractions, even held my leg up when i couldn't feel it because of a last minute epidural. i love him more for it and he feels like he was part of something special, which of course, he was. i would say that it brought us closer.

if my partner had refused to be there, i would have been very upset. i don't understand why a man wouldn't want to be there to see his child born. sure, it has the "ick" factor, but any mature adult can see past that and realize it is a beautiful, amazing thing.

Answer 3

Who gives a stuff about their not being present for "the benefit of the men"? Any man who can't handle it is a weak S**t not worthy of consideration. Men (even the ones that pretend that they're not) are so dismissive of everything that women do, that the only way they could ever possibly have any idea of just what's involved in giving birth is to be there during the whole procedure. My husband was adamant that he wasn't going to be present, but I was induced and everything just took off so quickly that he was more or less stuck there. A midwife/nurse said (screeched, really!) to him "Where's your gown???" They gave him one and that was that! Absolutely the best thing that could have happened! He survived and it took years before he lost his awe of the whole thing.

I'm sooooo fed up with anyone caring what men think about anything like pregnancy, childbirth, menstruation etc. etc. !  We (women) don't have a choice - neither should they!

Answer 4

I think a woman should run not walk as fast as she can from any loser who would not attend the delivery of his child because that's a clear sign he's the type who ain't ever going to put his family's needs before his own.  Men whine about wanting to be respected as fathers.  Well, that's where fatherhood starts.  Babies need to bond with their fathers from the start just like with their mothers.  A lot of losers fall all apart when a baby arrives because the mother pays more attention to the infant than to the loser.  In counseling, that hardly ever happens when the father attended the delivery of his child. Also, a commonality among men who murder their infants is they did not attend the delivery of the infant.  A man saying it's not right or that he doesn't want to attend the delivery of his own child should serve as a BIG RED FLAG to women and should be discussed prior to pregnancy and committment.

Answer 5

If and when I am ever lucky enough to find my soul mate I would want him there with me. it would help us both bond with our child. to watch the miracle of a new life come into the world YES let them in.

And if he ever was in the hospital you bet I would be there with him. after all we both are there to love in sickness and in health. so if i am ever lucky enough to find my soul mate we would do everything together. God Bless

Answer 6

If the man wants to be there, I think that he should be.  He can stand near her head, so he doesn't have to watch...

But there is something miraculous about giving birth.  He should see what she goes through to bring the child into the world.  He should also have the chance to see the baby when it's first born.  It's his baby, too.

Note:  Prince Albert was present and in the room for all of Queen Victoria's births.  It only strengthened their marriage bond.

Answer 7

There are a couple cases here and there where it wouldn't be prudent for the father to be in the room during the birth but more often than not the father should be in the room giving the mother his support.

The "eww no way" excuse doesn't work with me or any other woman I know. If I have to go through the pregnancy and some of the more disgusting things that come with that then you can certainly hold my hand while I deliver your child(ren).

Good thing is my husband and most guys I know are the good men who actually want nothing more than to be in the delivery room when their children come into the world.

Answer 8

i think its up to individuals.

but i think it will be good to have the husband by the side during the delivery.

women goes through 9 months of pregnancy,

during which, morning sickness, sores and other discomforts occurred.

the father could be giving an extra moral support just being there. giving the mother the feeling that they are in this together.

btw, if an accident occur to you, wouldnt you want your family members to be by your side ?

fears would be greatly reduced.

and you would feel so much safer.

sometimes human beings mustnt be so selfish to keep thinking of themself and not of the other party.

Answer 9

I want my husband there when I give birth and would be very upset if he wasn't.  Sure it is a bit traumatizing, but so it pushing 7 lbs through a hole the size of a penny.  Do I want him seeing all my glory...no.  But I expect him to be there.

Answer 10

The father should be present at the most important event in your life--when you enter the world. Simple as that.

Answer 11

I dunno, I've been knifed twice, so the sight of blood doesn't bother me at all, but the thought of watching that does make feel like I would throw up. I would prefer not to be there, even watching animals give birth on documentaries grosses me out.

Answer 12

I'm only 23 and a long way from having kids of my own, but I don't understand why you wouldn't be there if you can be at all.  I know there are sometimes circumstances that make it impossible, but this is your kid we're talking about here.  If you can make it, be there.

Answer 13

I agree.  I harbored alot of resentment to my first husband because he wasn't there at the birth of our first child (he was there for the other two after he found out how i felt about it).  My second husband took off work to be there for my surgery last year, and I was glad because I needed him there.

Answer 14

I don't think many men would say 'ew no way!'...

I don't have statistics for that. But my common sense tells me that good men and women will support  each other.

But in some countries doctors don't allow others in the theater.

Answer 15

Depends on the guy...

Some men can't stand watching they're wife in pain...

Other don't find it necessary...

When my child borns, i will so be there to help him enter the world and to support both him and my wife...

some people(not only men) will find what i just said stupid tho

Answer 16

I was there and so was my mom (an RN when she was alive.)  I took care of all the pre-arrangements including having a hospital VP visit my exwife to make sure everything was ok.

We also had our son sleep in our room; the whole thing was great.

Answer 17

This is up to every individual couple. Having a baby, just for your information, is not comparable to a road accident.

Answer 18

If I got pregnant again, I'd definitely want my husband to be with me for the delivery.

However, when I had my baby, I was only allowed one person in the delivery room with me (because of the SARS scare) and my ex-husband was being squeamish.  He was like, "Ok, I'll go if you want me to, but I don't know if I will deal with it well."  I told him to forget it then, and brought my mother.  I didn't want to have to be looking out for him to make sure he was doing fine, and I knew I could count on my mother to be strong for me.

Answer 19

There are times when it's better if the partner isn't there, and I think if he doesn't *want* to, and is only doing it to please others, he's better off outside.

People shouldn't be involved in medical procedures or observation because they feel they should, but to provide support for the person having the procedure, or if they can be of use.

Cheers :-)

Answer 20

I think it's hilarious that some men go on about men being designed to be hunters and fighters and then seem to fall apart at the thought of someone giving birth / bleeding / etc. What kind of a soldier would that be? One that wouldn't last long on the battlefield that's for sure! Perhaps one that would also abandon his wounded comrade because he was (ew! ick!) bleeding???