Favorite quotes?

Question

what are your favorite quotes? (preferably funny? if not that is ok, i suppose)

Answer 1

I have so many!



"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.”

-Brendan Gill

“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”

-David Tyson Gentry

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”

-Albert Einstein

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."

-Kenneth A. Wells

"After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."

- Cato the Elder

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"We are responsible for what we are and for what we will be."

-The Second Humanist Manifesto

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story."

-Barney Stinson

Answer 2

Love is like the wind,

You cant see it,

But you can feel it.

Answer 3

"Armored Tanks and Orange peels don't appeal to Oatmeal"

Answer 4

Homer: "You want to be Homer Junior? the kids can call you HOJU." (LOL!!!!)

*mostly anything from Homer is funny! oh and Ralph Wiggum!*

Ralph: "I'm IDAHO!!!"

Homer: Kids you've done your best and failed miserably, the lesson is never try.

Lisa: Dad what's a muppet?

Homer: Well it's not a mop,and its not a puppet but man! *laughs out loud* ...so to answer your question I don't know.

Homer: "If he's so smart why is he DEAD?"

Homer:"Dad you're an old person and old people are useless"

Moe: Is there a Hugh Jass in here?!?!

Mr. Burns: Smithers, remove my belt.

Smithers: With pleasure sir!!!

Homer:"Homer J. Simpson. The J stands for Jay."

Homer:"Donuts are like life. They are round on the outside but empty in the middle."

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Homer:Please dont eat me! I have a wife and three kids! EAT THEM!

Homer: Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.

(I know it's long but If I have to pick one I think it's Hoju, so far.)

Answer 5

I have a ton, and i have no idea who they are by, just know that I didn't say them!!! lol :) also-sry, most of these aren't that funny... :)

Before you critize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you critize them you are a mile away, and you have their shoes! :)

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people that create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?

I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

I run with scissors...it makes me feel dangerous!! :)

Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door! (my personal fav)

there are more, but i can't write them all....if you want some funny ones, and funny pics go to myhotcomments.com :)

Answer 6

what is today but yesterdays tomarrow?

Answer 7

I like to do nothing and then rest afterwards.

Answer 8

"Dear God, please save me from your followers."

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