Fear of Failure Schema. Why can't I beat it?

Question

After seeing a psychologist for a good time, it became clear to me that the most potent schema I have is Fear of Failure.

I find it impossible to get on with my life. I seem to be wasting it all. The thought of taking on the responsibilities of work and important things makes me feel physically sick.

It's not that I'm lazy. (I think). I just feel like I won't be able to cope with a normal job. All the things I wanted to do when I was a kid were blocked to me because I have disabilities that make them barred to me.

Have you overcome this sort of feeling? It feels like I have someone pushing my buttons.

Answer 1

ammmmmmmmm u have a real tough situation its tht be sure.........bout wht are u dong

means be confident

i only think u can jst think while doing a work tht u are best in tht workand it do help

Answer 2

It was Freud who first identified schema as the building blocks of past experience we all use to shape and live our present lives by, and it appears to me that having your most potent 'schema' identified appears to you as a two edged sword. At present it is giving you a reason for being the way you are- it is both defining and restricting you and leads to you making assumptions about yourself and others- it is you who are pressing those buttons. This is understandable as schema are by nature deeply inbedded in the unconscious and are constructed for a reason.

However, having this knowledge also has the advantage of clarifying what your difficulties are. You now have the questions you need to begin slowly forming answers to- both with and without professional help- this is your mind and it is you who needs to work at it.

What should be remembered about schema is that they are not carved in stone and that once identified they can become flexible and open to change. This question alone is evidence that you have taken the initial steps upon this road to change.

Answer 3

I think you really need to start working on that with your psychologist.

You can only achieve what is physically possible for you.

How do you know what others are thinking? Do you have super powers that help you do that? Is what others think that important anyway?

You're the person putting pressure on yourself, so you can let it go. Be realistic and focus on what you can manage, take it a day at a time, set small achievable goals and reward yourself !

Depression feels awful, if you could feel better and achieve everything you wanted, you would.Please be kinder to yourself and take it slowly.