Fed up with mum should i confront her?

Question

My mum constantly puts me down and insults me and slags me off to my sister and im sick of it .Everything i do im in the wrong i took my kids on holiday and she slagged me off for it and then when i decorated their room she moaned to my sister she constantly asks to borrow money which often i will say no because we dont have money to give away but when i can help her i do .I cant even bare to have her in my house becuase she tuned up drunk and began insulting me and being rude in front of my friends .I dont know wether i should confront her over what she keep saying about me to my sister. Im sick of it she lent me her monitor last week and began moaning about it and telling my sister everything i do .I dont want to start a fight but i dont like being stabbed in the back

Answer 1

definitely

Answer 2

Just move away, change your name and don't let any of them have your new contact details.

Families - you can't live with them and you can't shoot them.  

Answer 3

Confront her! I can tell it's really bothering you and your mom may not realize shes making you that upset.

Answer 4

I also agree with clih.  She is your mother, she should tear you down like that.  My mum is a bit like that and my dad takes her side, but what I try doing is ignoring her and walking away.  You could try to comfort her and ask her why she is the way she is, maybe she'll tell you that she had problems when she was a child.  From their you help her deal with the issues, for example counselling.  Or you could ignore her, walk away and stop contacting her.

Answer 5

Surround yourself with people who build you up, not tear you down.

Answer 6

Its difficult for anyone to answer this question without knowing more about your family and how you all get on.  How come your sister is telling you what your mum is saying?  Does your sister want you to fall out with your mum?  Could your sister be making it up?  I would ask your mum about it.  Not in a confrontational way, but try to pleasantly ask her what she has been saying to your sister and why.  

Answer 7

Arrange to meet her in mutual place and calmly confront her. Is your sister supportive of you? Perhaps she could go with you to mediate. Explain to your mum how her comments make you feel. If you don't want to face her in person, it may help to put down on paper your feelings and send her a letter. At least that way you get to say what you want without any interruptions. Good luck, hope you can sort out your differences x

Answer 8

You should contact your mother and tell her that you can no longer put up with her behaviour. If she is unable to treat you with respect and caring that  she will not longer be welcome in your home and you will be forced to break all contact with her.

You also need to consider that this kind of example is not good for your children.

Answer 9

WHY do you have any contact with your mother AT ALL????!!!!!!

She's an abusive, drunk, controlling person who is mean and hateful.  THEN she asks for money!!!!  WHAT NERVE!!!

What is she doing to your children???  What is she doing to your husband???  WHY WOULD YOU ALLOW HER IN YOUR FAMILY'S LIFE???!!!!!!!!

I would never have any more contact with her again.  If your sister wants to keep in contact, let her suffer but there is no reason for you to!!!

Besides, confronting your mother will do what?????   She won't change, she's been like this her whole life!!

Answer 10

First of all please realise that your mum is the one with the problem. Not you.

I'd like to know how come you're so clued up about what she says to your sister? does your sis repeat everything to you. if that's the case maybe you should tell sis that you just don't want to know.

As far as money goes, I wouldn't let her have a penny. you have children to support, she has the bottle. If you don't let her have any money or whatever then hopefully she won't come round so much.