Feedback needed ASAP??10pts best answer!!!?

Question

How can I make these few sentences flow better and appeal to the reader more? what should I add/take out? what do you think about the scene in its entirety? Examples, suggestions and ideas welcomed! Please and thankyou!

The world began to spin in Sarah eyes. All around her, the walls, the ceilings, and even the blurry figure of Nathan went round and round her head. As soon as she had heard him confirm what her heart’s been dreading, a sharp pain tore through her head, and her arms and legs felt light and empty.

No…nonono, this isn’t happening! She cried out silently. NO!!!

Answer 1

Good Day,
I am Mr Richmond Brown a Private Loan Lender, I am the C.E.O of the WATERFALL FINANCE LOAN FIRM , United Kingdom. We offer both personal and business loans with capital base between the amounts of $2,000.00 to $50,000,000.00 US Dollars Or GB Pounds to Individuals, Firms and Cooperate Bodies regardless of their Marital Status, s*x, Religion, and Location but must have a legal means of repaying back the Loan at the stipulated time, AND MUST BE TRUST WORTHY.
If this befits your expectations, then we can proceed further, I will like you to tell the EXACT AMOUNT you are requesting for as loan and the urgency of this transaction for further proceedings you.



Email:
[e-mail]
For More Urgent Information Get back to us immediately.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Richmond Brown
Managing Director(C.E.O).