Question:

Feedback on a poem "It's the Little Things" I came across this poem in a notebook, and I'd like to finish it.

by  |  earlier

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Here in the dark,

it's the little things.

The kiss was too short

or too long

and doubt creeps in,

studies every detail,

finding all the flaws.

And warning lights flash

behind her eyes

with every un-pulled dandelion

or late rendezvous.

Sleep is driven away

suddenly by an unpaid bill

or a meeting to reschedule.

It's the little things

like snowflakes falling

on the mountain at night.

Every tiny trespass

numbered and left to lie

a million tiny trespasses

unnoticed in present time.

It's the little things.

Exaggerations, little lies

Straying thoughts

Little adulteries

The weekend drinking binge -or eating

little gluttonies.

Sins so small, so common

you never see it coming,

living in your dark, quiet corner

minding no one's business.

Here in the dark

are all the little things

that unmake.

We live day to day

scrabbling bloody fingers

seeking comfort in the gravel

of this cave floor

And finding little things

greedily break our teeth

Shivering as life's little furnace

sputters

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  1. Teasing us with flames

    But no fire

    The sun's rays peek thru

    the curtains

    But it's raining outside

    It's that knock on the door

    That says Open Up

    But I stay confined

    to the chamber that my head

    only knows

    The little things on the walls

    I hold close to me

    On the dresser and in frames

    To keep away that one little thing

    that feeds my insides

    Until I know the truth...

    --------------------------------------



    I wasn't too sure how you wanted to end this poem: did you want to overcome these little things? or did you want to succumb to the little things? ... I left it, sort of... hanging on til.... but slowly breaking free from all those "little things" .. Even if you only take two lines or 10 words from this ending,  I'll have known I helped.

    :o) Either way...  Have a nice day.

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