Feeding 20 month old who gives me a hard time! Help!?

Question

My son used to eat very well. We were in the process of transitioning from baby food to baby food/regular food to regular food. Now suddenly he does not want to eat. Or to be clear, eat for me. He will eat great for the sitter and his dad. With me, he will pretend to eat and then spit and/or puke it back up. I have to fight him just to get a bite in his mouth sometimes. This morning alone I tried to give him some applesauce for breakfast (I even waited hoping he was hungry). So he ate some, started fighting me, and then puked it all back up everywhere. I broke down in tears, upset, which in turn upset him. I feel like a terrible parent. I am trying my best here. The doctor says he is fine (weighs normal, looks normal). Friends act like I'm doing something wrong. My husband gets mad at me because sometimes he gets home and the baby hasn't eaten because I just can't get him to eat and/or keep his food down.

Please help me. I am losing my mind here and need advice!!!

Answer 1

offer him food, if he doesnt want it then dont force him. also dont let anyone else feed him. kids eat when they're hungry, let him learn your in charge and YOU are going to feed him.

Answer 2

First, you're not a terrible parent. Also, since the doc says he's fine, relax.  He won't starve himself.  If he's truly hungry, he'll eat.  That's the good news.

It sounds like he's working to assert himself a bit (he's getting to be about the right age).

This is also an age where kids can get pickier about what they eat.  It comes around 2 years old.  What they used to like they will no longer eat.  So, expect him to maybe be different about what he likes vs. doesn't.  

I would lessen any "snacking", so that when food is available, he's more likely to be hungry.  I would let him feed himself, once you've offered up a plate of what you believe is acceptable and then let him eat or not.

I also agree that others giving him things (at least for awhile) isn't good.  It's not helping you create new routines.  Be gentle, but clear with other adults to not do that.  It's even worse of they give him sweets (candy).  If he's getting that, he's going to prefer it to anything nutritional you give, which just makes the battles worse.  It will simply undermine what you're doing here.

Good luck, dear.  You're a great mom.  Keep it up.

Answer 3

It seems to me that there is a power struggle going on between you and your son.  Since he will eat for his father and sitter and not for you.  The act of throwing up is a definite

act of control on your son's part.  You may have forced him to put the food in his mouth, but he is showing you that you can not force him to keep it down.  At his age it is best to pick your battles.  The more you insist  that your little one eat the more he will rebel against you at the table.  Meals should be a time to enjoy each others company, and to learn appropriate table behavior. Try not to pressure him to eat.  Offer him healthy food that he likes and leave the choice of eating it up to him.  If he chooses to eat, great!  If not then remove the food without a word and keep your frustrations silent. It is human nature to survive, your son will not starve  if he misses a few meals..Try not making meals with you a battle.

Answer 4

at 20 months old, I would try him with food and if he doesn't want to eat it I would take him out of the high chair and go on about my day for an hour and try again. I don't fight with anyone to get them to eat  or chase them around.they can take it or leave it. if he was older I would say try at mealtimes only. he won't starve, trust me. some kids don't know what it's like to be hungry these days.