Feel like I have no one or nothing to live for. Depressed?

Question

About a year ago I had a girlfriend who's had a very bad life.

I know it's stupid but I tried to help her and make her feel better by making out I had all these problems, to make her fit in and have a friend she could talk to.

I guess I really though I had these problems, and started cutting.

I don't now, for ages.

Anyway, we broke up. She started going out with her best friend.(I knew she was bi, it didn't bother me at all, but while we was going out she told me she loved her. So that kinda made me feel bad)

I've been feeling really worthless for the past couple months.

I feel worthless, along with all the stress of school.

Every single teacher thinks that their subject is the most important and it annoys me that they give us so so much work to do all at the same time that it is seriously impossible to do it all.

I dred waking up in the morning, everytime I think about school I get butterflies.

I should be doing homework right now, in the summer holidays, but they give us so much that I had to worry about it while I was on holiday.

I don't care about anyone anymore.

I think about it and I realise that I don't care if I don't see anyone I know again.

I wouldn't give a c**p if I just came down with a serious illness.

Latley I've just felt like I don't need school and I don't want school. I'm much smarter than both my parents.

I much happier alone.

I don't care about my friends or school at all.

I feel tired all the time, even though I find it fine sleeping.

I can never get comfertable, no matter how hard I try.

Things that I used to love doing, like drawing and playing games, I just find stupid, pointless and annoying.

I just feel like I have nothing and no one to live for and if I just had someone to talk to, someone who cares about me as much as I care about everything, I'de feel better.

But I always here people bitching about me giving me dirty looks etc.

I don't see the point in living anymore. The world isn't big enough, I feel trapped.

I don't see the point in my "future" because technically, none of us have a future, we all die in the end, so why take anything serious?

I want to go back to self harm because even the thought of making one little cut makes me feel relief.

I feel like I really want to ... die.

I not feeling sorry for myself, I couldn't care less if I spend life alone.

But I really want to go.

Wondering around the world as a ghost forever is my best hope.

Answer 1

hi, you have had so much to deal with lately I'm not surprised your feeling c**p. i would say yes your defiantly got depression and sound in a bad way.you're obviously a special person in the way you tried to empathised with this girl and it would be tragic to lose someone who actually gave a d**n about others.if you need to self harm what can say if it keeps you here then why not. i used to do it loads and that's why I'm still here now i think,ok its not the ideal solution ,that would be to get yourself to the doctors and ask for help as you have done here.you defiantly need medication or counselling to help you return to the old you,but until then put an elastic band round your harming wrist the one you would have scars probably on and every-time you feel the need to cut give it a really hard ping sometimes that is enough to get you through that moment. or get a red pen and if you get the urge to harm use the pen to mark yourself,do it fairly hard so it gives you the feeling if harm and the relief that comes with it. I'm sure you will recover from this bad  time but you must seek help at a doctors,if you cant talk about it then write it down and hand it to the doctor and go from there. feel free to contact me if you need an ear or a chat. [e-mail]  i've been in the place your in too. be strong and take care.

Answer 2

okay you are defiently depressed and u seriously need to do something about it and that dosn't involve cutting or anyhing of the sort.

You do care about life , you do care about yourself, you do love yoyurself!! It seems you feel really hurt and abadoned and cast aside becuz of this girl. You r depressed probably even more than u possibly were bcuz of that and bcuz of school etc. I suggest u talk with your doctor or your parents no matter the type of relationship u have and lay it all out on the table and say your very depressed and that u want help. if you don't seek help either by asking your parents, your doctor or finding a profesisonal yourself it may be a vvveeeerrrry long, almost unbearable time until u feel happy and normal again.

How long have u been feeling EXactly like this, where u find the drawing ect things to be fun but don't anymore?? Has taht been "ages" as well?

Plz seek professional help, u need to  simply talk your feelings out and/or take meds if u agreee and the person thinks its good idea.

Do u have friends u can talk to or even an online friend to at least get some of your feelings out?

All of your negative remarks and feelings and behaviors are due to the depression which ever type it may be.

Its important to understand that ppl sometimes let us down and taht we musn't dwell on that for too long bcuz it could affect us like it has to u. I don't think taht girl thinks any less of you but she shoudl of been more considerate of otehr ppl. Forget about her now though, shes proven shes only brings distress and u don't need that. Its time to move on, things happen for a reason and when u get better you'll see its true! Are u in college or high school etc? Are u taking AP courses etc? Try to take it step by step and day by day DO WAT U CAN! And start as soon as u can try not to procrastinate bcuz that will just cause more stress and problems. Change classes or schools if u must but get help above all is wat u need to do rigth now, school is important and u need it in life although it may suck now but in the end its worth it. Plz take care and try to get family counseling in conjunction with YOU talking w/ a licensed professional. Trust me it will get better!!!!

In the mean time try to get up and MOVE!! (Depression makes ppl literally feel tired and sluggish and weak) Clean your living space, take a shower and groom up, exercise, pray, listen to upbeat music, read a good book, start making a doc appt so u can tell them or calling a psychiatrist, start talking with your folks. Try to relax and breathe!! :)

Answer 3

sometimes i truly agree withyou on everything you said. I get very depressed and have a tough time coping with everything. Even as i am writing this i feel hopeless. But there are some days when i see that life does have beauty in it and there can be a feeling that can make you feel worth being alive. eI dont have the divine inspirational message to keep you motivated to live but i can tell you why i cant bring myself to hurt myself no matter how depressed i get, i think how amazing life could be if i wasnt feeling depressed and scared. That keeps me goin. stay strong

Answer 4

Hun, you have depression. I have it too. You are not alone. You need to get on some meds. I am very poor, but i can afford them. It's 4$ for a generic version of prozac, even with no insurance. (flouxitine. pardon my spelling.) It also helps to talk to a professional. I have been seeing the same lady for years, and i feel like she knows me, and knows how to help me. There are resources out there for people like us, and people who want to help. it's not normal for you to feel this way. But it can stop. You and only you can help yourself. that is the hardest part of depression, because no one can make you help you. No one can make you take your meds or talk to a doctor. only you can do it, and if you loose interest in maintaining your life it's hard. but you have to pull yourself up and try. If you start taking these meds, they will help. eventually your brain chemicals will balance themselves out, you will re-discover your dreams and goals, find a nice girl who will help you grow as a person, and all this will be history. trust me, i am in the same boat. somedays i wake up and a REALLY, GENUINELY want to die. Sometimes when i am driving to work i wish a drunk would hit me head on. I have pondered what would happen if i unbuckled, and gunned my car at one of those gasoline carrying 18 wheelers that re-fill the gas station pumps. (you know, the round trucks).... Yea, it's not good. You do not know how many people would miss you. you don't know how many people would show up and cry at your funeral. you can't appreciate how many people love you. that's why you need to listen to what i am telling you to do, best answer or not. I hope things get better. *hugs!*

Answer 5

OK, that was long, but I am going to try.

Believe it or not there are many kids your age that feel the same way, as in depressed.

I think the teachers do expect too much from students these days. I have seen the homework my nieces have, and it is impossible to do all this work, be a teenager, and be happy.

My niece used to cut when she felt out of control. She has been seeing a therapist and it has really helped. You want to cut because you feel like that is something you can control. You didn't do yourself any favors by pretending to have problems just to make her feel better. I think you can see that did not help you. If you don't interact with the people in your life, such as friends, parents, you are going to feel more out of it. I really don't think that you are smarter than your parents in all aspects of life. They have experience under their belts. If you really look deep inside you can pull yourself out of this. It was a good step writing here just to get your thoughts out.

But, you have got to seek some help from a counselor at school, or someone you trust. There is someone you can talk to, I am sure.

Do not give in and cut again. I don't have anything magic to tell you, but you are young, and you can do it!

Answer 6

If your life sucks so much then end it. We can't stop ya. If you are stupid enough to start cutting yourself, then I figure why should you be here? Alright, suicide is not the best answer. If you hate everything and everyone see a school nurse or counselor.

It's up to you my good man.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. But this will pass. There will always another girl out there for you. I'm 36 and just when one girl got away, there is another. But try to find someone before 30 because, not too many women would like to go out with guys 5- 10 years older. What I suggest is to improve on yourself first. Go to school and college. There are a lot of pretty girls going to college. Join a frat and then you might meet your love of your life there. But also take school seriously. Study for engineering, architecture, banker. Something that makes you have a good career. Maybe you might not like it, but you certainly have a good skill to pay your bills.

Meanwhile, focus and improve on yourself. The great asset you have is  time. Time to make mistakes. Time to learn. Time to find out who you are and want to be. And time to improve on yourself.

Also have control. Since we cannot dictate life or others, we should have control over ourselves. Things will happen, especially bad stuff. Successful people have control over themselves. Having control over ourselves will just help us handle situations better. Do you have control? I hope this helps. It will be hard, but just search and do the best you can.

Answer 8

well you sound seriously depressed and i know that when you are like this everything seem like such a big struggle, getting through one day is enough effort and then there is another one after that and another one after that...

It must be very difficult going back to school next week and you wont have as much time for yourself, ask for some help and a councilor  from your doctor.

Make a plan so you can easily manage your school work, there's allot of subjects before you finish your gcses and its often hard to keep track, maybe tell your teachers i have a big homework in maths so can i do your essay in french next week I'm sure they will understand.

planning an hour a day and two hours a day at the weekends and getting all your work done should take that weight of your mind it cant weigh down on you if its already sorted.

break ups are never easy but time is a great healer because life is so short is a reason to make the most of everyday.

you are growing up now and things will change taking you to new directions and things you never knew existed, shouldn't give up now your just discovering the world x