Feeling a bit depressed and annoyed after the birth of my baby

Question

I had my baby on the 18th of july and the birth was the most terrible and frightning ever. It just went terribly wrong, the heartbeat dropped and the cord was around her neck and in the end i ended up going for a c section. After i came out of hospital i felt fine for the first few days but then i started to get really angry and annoyed, i get really angry at my partner that i just burst into tears, i get annoyed with the baby sometimes (i know that sounds awful). I feel stressed and everytime i make myself food i just dont feel like eating it. I feel like crying alot and i just feel useless! Help?

Answer 1

Baby blues is common and usually hits on day 3 post-partum. With each of mine I woke up that day and just wanted to cry or scream at someone all day. It usually passes pretty quickly but if it doesnt you need to get checked out for post natal depression.

Good luck and congratulations hun

x*x

Answer 2

Murder-Suicide it solves all.  

Answer 3

Hi,

   (((Big Hugs))

I know some people on here are insulting you and having a bit of a go and I find that really unfair!

Having a baby is a life changing moment and having a complicated birth can make mothers seem a little overwhelmed and nervy around baby.

It seems to me that you haven't really come to terms with the horrible distress and trauma of your daughters birth and that it is affecting you.

It is normal and it hard to sometimes bond with the baby and 'get on with being a mother' when you so hurt with the pain and distress of a difficult birth.

Also you may feel that your partner isn't truly understanding your feelings or supporting you with the baby and this is causing the two of you to row more.

It sounds like you do have the baby-blues - many women get it and it because birth is exhilterating and exhausting. The baby blues affect 60 to 80 per cent of women. - they may find themselves exhausted, unable to sleep, feeling trapped and anxious, your appetite can change (eat more or less), feel irritable, nervous, worried about being a mother or feel afraid that being a mother will never feel better than this.

All of these feelings are normal during the first couple of weeks following childbirth, and baby blues only last for a few days. Few women find that their sadness persists for longer.

Remember until these first few days home.

The baby blues are not an illness and will go away on their own. No treatment is necessary other than reassurance, support from family and friends, rest, and time.

Baby blues are often confused with postnatal depression because they share common symptoms. But in the first few days after delivery, some emotional upheaval is to be expected. However, if you have a history of depression, if there's depression in the family, then postnatal depression is a real possibility. If symptoms are particularly troublesome -- such as suicidal thoughts or an inability to take care of your baby or yourself -- you need treatment. If you continue to feel this way beyond two to three weeks after the birth, you should call your doctor and seek professional support.

Your partner can help you by reassuring you that many women feel this way after birth. He needs to listen to you and allow you to cry if you want to! He should be telling you what a wonderful mother he feels you are going to be! He could help with keeping vistors to a minimum. Make dinner for you, help you set your priorities - things that must be done versus things that can wait! He should encourage you to rest as much as you can.

BUT you must also help him in letting him into how you are feeling hun. You need to communicate with him so he fully understands how you are feeling.

You are a mummy and it will get easier trust me.

My ex walked out 2 days after I gave birth and I had the baby blues and it was hard but after support I managed to cope and I am now being a brilliant mother to my son Caden.

You will be fine sweetie!

Lx  

Answer 4

Post-Natal Depression. See GP.

Answer 5

You can't say 'Oh this isnt post natal depression' and then in the next post COMPLETELY spaz out at someone. Swallow your pride and see your doctor. You either have post-natal depression, or that guy is right and you're just being awkward and have a c**p attitude.

Sort your heard out, seriously. I had sympathy for you until your little freak out towards that guy there. Grow up. You sound like a child, not a mother. Start thinking about the life you created, and get yourself into action for HER and get better from this. Stop being so selfish - Most mothers would do ANYTHING to get themselves over post-natal depression for their child, and there you are freaking out at people and denying you have it. Crikey.

Answer 6

I am going along with the post partum statements.  It can be a flood of emotions.  Doesn't mean u hate your baby or anything...it's a big adjustment.

Speak to your doctor...they are used to this.  It may also help to talk to family and friends...they could have experienced the same thing..if not, just an ear to listen and words of comfort can help.

Answer 7

I would talk to the Dr.  Your hormones are probably out of wack.  Don't feel bad or be hard on yourself, this is all very normal.  Your Dr will have be able to diagnose you and I am sure get you back on track.  

Answer 8

It sounds like the baby blues, go and see your GP, and congrats on the little one. xx

Answer 9

You got baby blues!! Perfectly natural especially if the birth was pretty frightening for you.  You will get angry at your partner and the baby too,  Just remember this is all part of being a new mum.  You will feel up and down all day every day.  You have gone through a very traumatic yet fulfilling experience and your body needs time to recover.  

It should pass in a while BUT if you cannot feel it getting any better do not hesitate to go and see your GP who can help you as you may end up developing post natal depression again very common.  And treatable too.

Congratulations on being a new mum.  You will love the baby and be the best mum you can!!  

Answer 10

First of all (((hugs))) and it will get better. I had my son on the 25th Oct '07,so he's 9 months old now,I had a fantastic birth,no contractions then bang,there they were,I didnt need and pain meds at all got to the pushing bit and my contractions went off,had to be put on a drip to get them going again but he wouldnt come out,they had to cut me and he was delivered via ventouse,he also cut me on the way out,I needed a lot of stitches.

After he was born I kinda just felt,ok I'm a mummy,what happens now,I couldnt get on with breastfeeding and had no help at all from the medical staff so he went onto bottles,I had no clue and felt useless. I had 'baby blues' which hit me like a brick wall when he was around 8 weeks old,I felt ****,didnt want to do anything,snapped at my husband, didnt want to cook or eat,was crying all the time,often getting my hubby to come home from work because I couldnt cope. I love my son,it took us so long to fall pregnant and I love him to bits but back then I would feel myself getting annoyed with him cuz he wouldnt stop crying,wouldnt sleep when I needed too etc. I felt very low,like you do. Now this was not PND,but I was however put on tablets to help me out,they were good and I felt better.

You had a very hard labour and its gonna take its toll,it will take it out of you and make you feel like this,do you have bags of support? I would suggest that you need to see you doctor and talk about it. The fact you  know how your feeling and can vocalise it is great,use that and get some help,it may be that you have 'baby blues',its totally different than PND,but could still require medication. Dont be too proud to accept help.

I hope this has helped you out a bit and try to speak to someone,that helps so much.

(((hugs)))

Answer 11

when I had my bay I went through a 36 hour labour, It was terrible, I was only 16 and gave birth naturally to a 9lbs 6ozer!! The stress after having a baby is so hard! You have to give yourself a break, every single woman after giving birth feels like this, as people said the ''baby blues'' usually come after the birth, 2or 3 days later. But some peoples carrys on for a while, especially as you had such a hard time, it must have been very stressfull. You don't have to 'not want' your baby to jhave postnatal depression and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having it either it's nothing to be ashamed of! Please take no notice of that idiot bazspur3, obviously doesnt have a clue what he is talking about! imbosil! Of course you get annoyed with your baby, its all part of it and getting angry or annoyed with your partner, its a horrible feeling that you just want to go away and feeling so down is just horrible... I know what your going through... Lots of women have to take a short course of antidepressants, low dosage for a while, just to try and bring you out of that empty hole that your feeling youre being dragged into!! There's loads of help out ther and people wont think anything of you!! God I still get annoyed with my little girl and partner and this is three and a half years on, its only natural!

Trust me sweetie, I've been through this, see your doctor he will see what way your feeling and he can help, even if you took them for a month you will notice a difference and soon be back to yourself, Idid it and it worked wonders... keep your chin up cos ur a good mom and partner, your just going throught the motions after your baby

! you did carry him 4 9months, have a traumatic birth and now having to take care of a newborn!!! give youself some credit!! Good luck, Ill be thinking of u!

Answer 12

I sympathise totally. I had a very similar experience with the birth of my first son. It is very traumatic and stressful for you and your partner. You have had a frightening time, undergone major surgery and now you have a little baby to look after. Im not surprised you feel angry and annoyed, even at the baby..I did too.

I disagree with you tho that its not post natal depression. Whilst it could just be hormonal, 'the baby blues' which every Mum gets after birth, given everything you have been thro, it is also possible it is a bit more than that. You wouldnt necessarily hate your baby with PND..you are thinking of puerperal psychosis, perhaps, which is a very serious condition where you are deluded and have hallucinations etc..You clearly dont have that but you do need help. Now, before this gets any worse. Talk to your Health Visitor or make an appt to see your Dr asap and tell them how you feel. They may suggest medication for a short time or may just suggest you receive regular support visits or the chance to talk to a consellor. this could be beneficial afetr your birth experience as it could help just to talk it out and come to terms with it. Whatever, dont delay seeking help because the earlier you do the sooner you will start to feel better and be able to enjoy your baby.

I had similar symptoms to you and didnt know who to talk to so didnt tell anyone. i wish i had, now. My son is nearly 11 and I have 2 more of 7 and 5 and it is only in the last 2 years I have been able to talk about and put to rest my first sons birth. From experience, i would say seek help now because it will make a difference and you will enjoy your baby so much more. take care.

Answer 13

Hi, poor you, sounds like post natal depression, you should really go and see your doctor and tell her how your feeling, I had it after my 1st pregnany and its no walk in the park believe me so the sooner you get help the better

Good luck

Answer 14

It could still be PND.  Not everyone with PND hates their baby - often, they are just overwhelmed by emotions and fear and feel like they can't cope.  See your doctor asap - it WILL get better!

Answer 15

congratulations on your baby see a doctor it is normal to feel low after baby am 50 so know i was bad for weeks the doctor will give you something to help you sorry to hear you had such bad time hope your ok soon

Answer 16

I know exactly how you feel.  Lots of women get these feelings after giving birth.  Your hormones are really messed up, you probably haven't slept in over a month or eaten properly.  The only thing is that if you find that as time passes, the feelings are getting better or if you are having thoughts of anger at your baby and are scared you might be rough with him, see your doctor. Baby blues can be treated.  Better safe than sorry.

Answer 17

It sounds like we had the same child birth, except my daughter cord got wrapped around her neck. You are experiencing post pardom. You will get through it. Talk to your dr.  

Answer 18

Its time to talk to your OBGYN. You may have PPD.

Note: PPD does not mean you hate your baby either! Get educated.