Feeling lonely and depressed....?

Question

Ours is a love marriage..We had to wait for few years to convince our parents to get us married,as we are from different regions etc....

We lived happily for few years and then we had a baby,my in-laws came to our house,and thats when the problems started....they try to get into every matter,i had some arguments with them...but they have created the impression to my hus,as if i am a kind of a girl,who is crazy and fights with him for no reason,He also started treating me like that,like he does not talk to me nicely,rather he is having those misconceptions that i don;t like their parents..but he loves me a lot..I know that..

I am feeling very lonely in my house and no one talks to me...I don;t have a close friend with whom i can talk about my feelings...and parents,don;t want to bother them at their old age,and moreover,since its the love marriage,,they will say,its your choice etc...i am like in a fix.

I don;t want to go away from my hus as i can;t live without him..I love him so much..but he does not understand that...

he talks to everyone nicely,expect me...don;t know what kind of sin i have done...Life sucks everyday..no happiness and yet have to live..don;t want to die,as my baby is very young..but feel like dieing..i feel that my life is useless..when i think of anyone who needs me in this world,i can think of only my baby..thats only the reason,i am living.

please advise on how can i make my life interesting again..from the past 1 year,my in-laws are with me..they all left yesterday only..i tried conveying my problemss/feelings to my hus,he understands everything and yet he is the same...

pls pls advise me something,i can;t live my whole life like this...

Thanks

Answer 1

Please know that everyone has times in their life when nothing seems to go right. And even the best marriages go up and down at times.  Having your inlaws live wth you is enough to make anyone get depressed!   My mother always says that two adult women in one house will never work.  They both want to do things their own way.  

But now they're gone.  Their influence over your husband won't be as great now.  It will take some time to repair the damage they did but don't give up!  You know your husband loves you and you have a beautiful child together.  Start planning things for just the 3 of you.  You are the real family here.  The inlaws have their own family.  

Look in your neighborhood, at church if you go, in the community, and see if there are any moms groups you can join.  You need to meet other young moms so you have someone to talk to.  Sometimes we get so stressed but having a friend who will say that they go through the same things, someone to laugh it off with, just to talk, will make situations so much better.

Answer 2

you need to sit your husband down and tell him everything you feel the only way for him to know how you feel is to discuss the issue at hand and he needs to put his foot down with his parents fine if they have to live with you that's one thing but another is having an opinion about the relationship do they want you telling them how to run there marriage and like they've never had problems before your husband needs to be reminded by you that he married you and he has a new family now which is you and your child if  he loves you and you talk to him about how you feel he will understand and make a change for the better but if he continues with his behavior then you need to reevaluate the relationship

can you try marriage counseling sometimes a third party can open up his eyes to his parents behavior

good luck

Answer 3

Your husband is a jerk for allowing his parents to come and take control - and to put you in this situation.  Now that the in-laws are gone - hopefully the two of you can patch things up - but he needs to make sure that his parents never interfere in your business again.  He needs to be more understanding and caring - and communicate (nicely) with you - and treat you like he used to.  I wonder also if you may be suffering post-partum depression - I would suggest looking into that.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear about your situation. I'd ask you to do a couple of things immediately so you can feel better:

1) Visit your doctor and have tests run.You sound like you are depressed, and this is not something you should ignore. Depression IS a terrible illness, and many people don't think it's serious- so they try to ignore it. This is a big mistake because it is a problem and ignoring it will not make it go away- it will actually worsen with time.

So go get a check up soon and find out if your hormones are OK or not. We all get sick; and if you are depressed, then you need help and meds in order to get better.

2) Seek counseling or therapy. You have problems with your marriage; and unless you are able to talk to your husband and communicate with him, things will not improve. Go to therapy alone if your husband does not want to join you.

Work on your issues and find out what is making you sad and what it is you CAN change---and what it is you CANNOT change. Deal with your problems and situation. We all make choices in life- and nothing is for free.

Ask your family for support. Tell them you are sick and that you need them around. Hopefully they will give you what you need if you show them you are in trouble. Good luck. Ask God to help you and heal you, too. He is the Best Doctor around!

Answer 5

Awwwww you dont need that from him you need to find a really sweet guy sad to say that but he seems like he is stressed about somethang an he takes his problems out on you!!! IM SO SORRY this breaks my heart because I see this happen all the time its a heartbreak for me but its worse for them because they are so sad =(!!!! Don't turn suicidal I know times can be rough we all experiance this feelin every zo often you are probably a beautiful girl an have a beautiful life to live!!!! My elder always told me to emrace every bump in life with a smile on your face an your head held High an you will always make it through!!! So For me do that even ho you don't know who I am just do this for me because Ive help a lot of people get through Rough Times an I would be willing to help you all that I can!!! My Email is [e-mail] please email! I will try to help all that I can!

xoxo babe you'll pull through it youve gotta friend right here that will help an listen to your story!!!!!

Answer 6

It looks like you are getting some good advice here.

1) make sure you don't have post-partum depression going on.  This can last for quite some time after having a baby (hormones out of whack).  Ask your doctor about this.

2) your in-laws left yesterday, that is a GOOD thing! :)  Don't expect things to improve immediately, but they will!  It will get better.

3) definitely find ways to make new friends in your area.  Mothers' play group?  Volunteer at a nearby school/ organization?  Try Meetup.com for people in your area w/ similar interests (in America at least, not sure what country you are writing from).

Answer 7

first of all ' none of this is your fault . so stop putting yourself down' what ever your in laws say . you are special 'it's a shame your husband

can't see that .he needs to grow up ' try talking to him again .if you ever need someone to chat to ' just send me an email .

Answer 8

oh you sweetheart   i feel so sorry for you    God will comfort you   if you do not belief in God   than that little baby will comfort you   you can always email me    click my picture and you will get my email address  i feel like hugging you my heart is broken for you please try to cheer up think about your beautiful   baby

Answer 9

He is nice to everyone but you?  I'm starting to sound like a broken record on here, but it sounds like verbal and emotional abuse to me. I personally, went to counseling to try and make myself feel better first.  It is also nice to have support if you decide to leave later.  I used to have to tell my husband what my therapist said just to get him to do anything.  Also, check out drirene.com.  It can help make things clearer for you and help you realize that you are not crazy, you are dealing with someone who probably doesn't even know how badly he is treating you.  It will give you advice on what to do.  Really, try to help yourself first and if your husband will not try to improve then you will know more about what you should do.  I think you may be depressed and for good reason!  Hope you can find a good therapist - this person will help you and stand behind you and make you feel stronger.  You can only control your own actions, not the actions of your husband.  So if he treats you badly you should not let it get you down - realize that it is HIS problem, not yours.  Good luck, I really hope you feel better soon.

Answer 10

It appears that you have your work cut out for yourself.  You have allowed his behavior to go unchecked, so now when you bring it up, he is going to act shocked and get mad.  You have the power, you just have to be firm.  You have to demand respect, without respect he gets nothing.  I know that you feel this is very hard, but sometimes to get what we want you have to step up and take a stance.  Hopefully your marriage will work, but it will not be the end of the world if it does not work, others have survived divorce and you will also.  Good luck.