Feeling lonely and having a pity party

Question

I am having a pity party. Lately, I am dissatisfied with my job. The pay is horrible and the work environment is negative. I have been looking for a better paying job for a year, been on a few interviews, but no luck. I am contemplating a career change, yet don't have the motivation or money to go to school. I don't want to spend the next 10-20 years paying off loans. I don't want to give up, but I am getting tired. At 36, I should be making decent money. Instead I am living paycheck to paycheck.

My current relationship is on the rocks. BF is not being supportive and tells me I have a negative attitude. He said he's getting tired of it. I have contemplated ending the relationship. I barely see my friends because they are either married, in serious relationships, or just busy with their lives. If I don't initiate contact, I don't hear from them. Its harder to find good friends. I don't want to be told to volunteer, join a club, go online, or any of that. I have tried and it does not work. And I don't have the money to do any of that. Yes, I am in counseling. Just need to vent. Please don't say hurtful things.

Answer 1

It's your party you can cry if you want to......  I hope you feel better soon.  

Answer 2

I understand totally!  it feels like you will never get out of it.  The stress from finances is overwhelming and effects almost everything in your life.  And it makes it even harder when you have a bf who doesnt understand any of that or even tries to understand how you are feeling.  I recommend medication.  I dont mean like the anti depressants but maybe something like Zanax!  It helps me bring it down enough to get through the day with out affecting my mind to much!  Good Luck!  It will get better.    

Answer 3

You may want to volunteer, join a club, go online, or any of that.  

Answer 4

Sounds like you do need a new job! Try the typicals like monster.com and snagajob.com and if that doesnt work, go downtown to the unemployment office, they always have good jobs you can find. also, going back to school might not be such a bad idea, but just do it in spurts. might take you longer, but it will pay off.

what typically makes me feel better when i get in these moods is getting my hair cut or something else that makes you feel pretty. if funding is an issue, try shoppin for clothes at the village discount, or goodwill or something to get your mind off things.

as far as the relationship goes. sit down and talk with him and let him know that you're kind of depressed and going through something and ask him to be patient with you while you figure things out. if he's not willing to work with you, then forget him. youcan do better. good luck!

Answer 5

What kind of counselling are you in? If it's private, ask if you can get in a group session occasionally. That does wonders for making acquaintances, then checking them over to see if any are friend material. If someone consistently arrives with a coffee, ask if they want to have a 20 minute coffee before the session—if it'sa dud, you have a great excuse to leave.

You're right, everyone is busy. But if your friends are busier than you, then it is your job to call them. Partner up for errand-running—it's more fun to dash around wih a friend, and you get a visit in while crossing stuff off the to do list.

My last suggestion: make a to-do list. Get a little note pad you can commit to carrying, and make a page a day and put three things on it.

1) something you will do just for you-paint your nails, go through your jewellery box and wear something you forgot you owned, try a new tea or coffee and savour it.

2) someone you will speak to without complaining—this is very difficult, but worth it. You can call, email, text or visit in person, any way that is appropriate for the person you're contacting. A positive chat will help other see you as more optimistic, and you will start feeling that way after even a short time.

3) something to improve you health—make and eat a fruit salad, do a mega-stair walk at home, watch a yoga show on TV and really try to follow along, try drinking 8 glasses of water in a day and see if you feel different, cut out a bad, bad food.

I know this isn't job or relationship counselling, but you sound really down and ready to give up on a number of fronts. You need to take care of yourself and quick so you can start feling better about yourself, and when you do, that's when to start tackling the big issues.

Answer 6

Try to let your boyfriend be more successful in helping you. Don't say, "Yeah, but" or "Yeah, right" to him. He's taking in your projections of feeling completely helpless and stuck. You can undo this if you want to. Instead, say, "Thanks for being you". He will soften, and you'll still have a boyfriend, if nothing else.

Just for today, do something just for you that is enjoyable. Have a cappuccino. Go to the gym. Buy something fun at the Goodwill store. Just for today, do it for yourself, you deserve it. take care.

Answer 7

Your world right now is pretty much how it is for everybody else.  The only thing I find that you are lacking is positive thinking.  Life is tough these days for everyone.  Some handle things better than others.  Start to think on the positive side.  See the good things that are in your life right now.  You have a job, it might not be the best job but it is one.  Others don't have it.  You have a bf, there are many that don't.  Whether you stay with this guy or not is up to you.  Friends are good things but every good thing has to come to an end sometimes.  Try and make new friends.  If you get out of your negative attitude maybe you can attract new friends.  

Answer 8

I understand where you are coming from! Life can be rough and everyone has days like this! Don't think you are alone millions of people are in the same struggle...no $$, friends that are MIA and that puts a strain on your relationship 2. I know it's easier said than done, but stay positive! There is always someone that has it alot harder. Trust me this 2 shall pass..Hope you feel better soon & God Bless!

Answer 9

Vent yourself out! Sounds like you are in a tough place for now.

Answer 10

Try me.

Answer 11

The cost of living is lil' ridiculous.  Everybody is struggling.  Really?  No hurtful things?  What a bummer.  : (

Answer 12

You just need to think more positively! The way things are right now, its all up hill from here, so you have your whole life in front of you!!! :D smile!!!!! Call your friends or your family. Invite someone over and do something fun with them. Think of something that your interested in and try and find a job in that area. then maybe you will be motivated to succeed in something and you'll have something to work for. bake something and you'll feel like you've accomplished something.  Just have positive thoughts only! there are a lot of people in the world a lot worse off than you. so just cry for yourself for a miute, then move on and make things better. Oh My gosh!!! I just thought of the best story for you right now!!!!!! OK so there is a young girl and she is having a hard time at school. nobody at school likes her and she is getting put down. she goes home to her mom one day and says "mom, I just can't do it anymore. Its too hard." and her mom looks at her and says "I know. I know it is hard for you to go somehwere where you are hurt. and it is hard for me to know that you are eating lunch and no one will sit with you. It is hard for me to think about the way everyone will laugh at your clothes and your shoes and your hair. I know that everything is really hard. But you can do hard things" And her mom had her write "I can do hard things" on lots of pieces of paper. and she put one on her pillow so she'd see it when she went to sleep and when she woke up. and she put it in her lunch bag and on the table. and in her closet and the bathroom mirror. And the girl got through it. because every time she was feeling bad she remembered that she could do hard things. so she did hard things. and she grew up to be a successful adult with a family of her own. And the girl's neighbor was a housewife who was having trouble in her marriage and she had trouble paying the bills and caring for her kids. One day the neighbor comes over to the girls house and says "I just can't do it anymore. My life is too hard" and the girl says "I know its hard, but you can do hard things" and the girl made the woman a magnet and put it on her fridge. It said "I can do hard things" she made the woman a pillow that said "I can do hard things" and the woman got through it, just like the girl had, because she could do hard things.