Feeling pressured and unsure

Question

My due date is Aug 28(granted its not up to me hehe) and sister inlaws wedding is Sept 21. I dont feel like being around a bunch of people I dont know and with a newborn baby.. If I have a c section I know I wont be going. I feel pressure from everyone expecting us to be there. Oh and they are 7 hrs away and we would be driving. The only one not pressuring me is my husband and he has told everyone I'd only go if I were feeling up to it and said it mostly so people would stop bugging...I just can't see going with the new baby and learning to be a mom and hormones and everything else and hopefully getting the hang of breastfeeding.. am I wrong?

Answer 1

You don't need yo be going! It would be a different story if the wedding was a half hour, or even an hour away, but 7 hours. You need to be healing, and the last you and your baby need is to traveling. Your body does not need the stress. Besides, if your family loves you, and the baby, they would shut up and and be respectful of your decision!  

Answer 2

No you aren't wrong.  The last thing I would want to do as a mom to a 4 week old is go to a wedding 7 hrs away.  Send a really nice gift and your heartfelt congratulations, along with a promise for all of you to get together once things settle.  If you surprise yourself and feel up to it, then by all means go.  

Answer 3

You are not wrong. What is wrong is for everyone to be so demanding. I'm glad your husband understands. The best thing to do is to tell them right away that you are not coming so they can get all of the bad feelings out of the way by the time the wedding comes and they can enjoy themselves without thinking about you guys not coming.

Answer 4

I don't think you are wrong at all. If you feel up to it, that is up to you. I know I personally would not have travelled 7 hours to a wedding...family or not...if they love you, they will understand.

Answer 5

You are definitely not wrong. These people shouldn't even be expecting you to show up. If you can and want to, that's great. But you certainly shouldn't feel obligated to. You need time after you have your baby (whether you have a vaginal birth or c section) to recover and bond with your baby. Don't feel pressured into doing anything if you're not up to it. It's good that your husband is on your side though.  

Answer 6

Don't go if you don't want to.  If they can't understand then that's THEIR problem, not yours!

Answer 7

No you are not wrong at all. It's a lot of work to have a baby and a lot of work to recover. You have NO obligation to go on a long trip with a newborn if you do not want to. Especially since weddings are full of people, and noisy and you never know if any is or was recently sick. A seven hour drive for a newborn is a lot and if you take into account stopping to feed every 2-3 hours it's going to be even longer. Just politely tell everyone that you are sorry but it is going to be way to soon after the baby is born to make such a long trip, not to mention you want to be safe when it comes to the baby's health. They will understand and if they don't, then that's people you don't want to be around anyway. Be glad your husband is not pressuring you and make sure you let him know you are thankful for that. Send a present with another family member or through the mail though, so at least the thought is there.

Congrats on the baby hun!!