Feeling really bored and sad.. say something to cheer me up?

Question

Anything. It could be a story, a lyric, a joke, or send me links from youtube or anything to cheer me. It doesn't matter. The one that makes me laugh the most, gets the best answer and wins 10 points. Ready, set, GO FOR IT!!!

Answer 1

right this is slightly offencive so sorry if i offend you reading this

a man rings work and says "sorry but im gonna be late im in A and E with a split lip" "what happend" asked his boss "well i first hit the back of a car and a dwarf got out and inspects the damage he say im not happy so i reply well wich one are you then thats when the fight started"

Answer 2

This is SO lame and for six year olds, but it made me laugh:

Q: What did the number 0 say to the number 8?

A: Nice belt!

Answer 3

A Joke

From the Joker (that is my nick name)

A mother is worried about her son... Johny she says to her husband. He arrives home late almost every day. "ok ok" Says the father i'll go talk to him.

So the father runs up stairs and talks to his son. "Son" says the father. "Your mother is worried why are you arriving home late almost everyday. "well dad i am having s*x with my teacher" the father smiles "good job, your the man. "oh son" yeah dad. Can you go down on your bike and get some bread" "ah No dad i can't my *** is soar"  

Answer 4

once there was a man .he was very poor .one day he bought a chick from shop and dreamed on the way ............ in his dream the [chick he bought lays many eggs and comes many chicks., it grews and that ones lays many eggss and he become a rich man.one day a snake came to bite a hen he took the snake and killed it by holdind it tightly in its neck.]then he realieved from dream sawed that he did not kill the snake he killed the chick which was in his hand.                           moral:covet all iose all

Answer 5

I can only make a wish that you soon get bored of being sad :)

Get out of that chair and take a walk some where, breath the fresh air.

Answer 6

If you are so bored solve this:

I cannot be felt, seen or touched;

Yet I can be found in everybody;

My existence is always in debate;

Yet I have my own style of music.=P

What Am I?

Here is a joke, too:

A little boy was doing his maths homework.

He said to himself,

"Two plus five, the son of a bitc... is seven.

Three plus six, the son of a bitc... is nine..."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you

teaching my son in maths?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitc... is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,

"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."