Feeling trouble leaving my one and only child alone for overseas tour trip?

Question

I have one and only child who is now 22. This may sound a bit strange, but some mothers may be able to help me feel at ease. I never leave my "one and only" child home alone for more than a day so I am feeling sad to go overseas for 10 days with my husband. One of the reasons why I am not at ease is because my child has no friends because of shyness, and not independent either. Also, I don't have any relatives nearby and we live in an area, which neighbors are not neighborly. But, at this point I know that I should start to learn to let go. I am just about to submit the payment for the trip, and I am feeling down, and worrying already of leaving my only child alone. Please share some advice or help so I feel better. No condescending remarks, please!

Thank you.

Answer 1

how long are u going for? if its just a short trip then it'll be ok.

must you go? is it business can your child not come?

at 22 they are an adult even if shy they'll have to stand on their own two feet one day.

maybe it will be good for them having to stand on their own 2 feet for the time you go away will do them good

as long as you have taught them well, raised them to be able to look after themselves. they should be fine.

have they not got any friends? they need to get out and start living their own life, you only live once. i suggest seriously if they are shy get them to join a drama group i was shy and years later did this ...i met my boyf of 6 yrs who im still with,,,had such a laugh, met some really nice ppl and i am pursuing a career in acting/performing.

so i really think joining a club would be good>what do they like doing?

you cant be with them by their side all the time unfiortuantely my dear.

Answer 2

C'mon go on ur holiday Give your child sometime 2 grow he/she is 22 you cnt hold your child foreva they wud eventually leave the nest...

Answer 3

i don't have kids so i can't give you a mother's point of view. however, the reality of the situation is that your son is 22 years old. you can't keep him under your wing forever, because that will only do more harm than good to both of you. he'll always feel insecure and not be able to take care of himself, and you will always be worrying about him. it's not a good way for life to go on, and will not lead to a healthy progression through life.

that said, i think you should go on your trip. if he can't do the basics to take care of himself at 22 years old, then he really needs to learn, and now. how will he ever find a wife and start a family if he has no confidence in himself and is completely dependent on you.

could you ask a friend, someone from church, or a neighbor that you get along with to check in on him every couple days? that way you could relax and go on your trip, and he can learn a little about being independent, while still having some help.

whatever you do, i strongly suggest you take your trip. best of luck to you  :)

Answer 4

I honestly think it could be the best thing to do hun - whilst I find it very touching that you feel this way about your child, and you obviously love him/her very  much - I think its about time you loosened the grip a bit - he/her needs to learn how to stand on their own two feet and get out in the world without you there for reassurance.

At 22 he/her is an adult, and whilst I dont want to sound mean - you wont be around forever - you're not doing him/her any favours by being over maternal.

Go on and enjoy your trip and you might find that  your son/daughter will really appreciate having been left alone - it might be the kickstart they needed to get them out of their shell!

xx

Answer 5

this best thing you can do is go on holiday. you of course have a strong bond with your child particulary as an only child.

however you also have a duty as a mother to prepare your child

for the outside world, and without being rude i don't think you have done

this enough.

if you haven't taught your child how to cook then make some meals

and freeze them and buy a basic cook book. show them how the

washing machine dishwasher etc work if they don't know.

put an emergency number somewhere easily to be found.

say you won't phone but will email every other day.

find out what is going on in your neighbourhood for people of that

age and try and get your child to join some sort of club where friends

can be made.

i presume your child is fit and healthy , surely has some mates at work.?

this could just be what your family needs, and hey if nothing changes

you are never going to have grandchildren

pay your deposit, don't appear anxious and have a great time.

when you come back i think you will find some good changes

keep them up!

Answer 6

It's going to happen eventually.. I just moved to college for the first time, and I know my mom isn't having the best time, but I'm talking to my parents often, and making sure I keep in touch.  Maybe just call him as often as you want.. even though he might find it a bit annoying