Feels like I'm losing my friends, what should I do?

Question

Alright, long story short, I've had some health problems recently and it's kind of changed who I am. I'm still the same person, only quieter. There are times where I just don't talk and I used to be the loud mouth of the group. It feels like my friends don't really relate to me like they used to or vise versa, I mean we do, we're still friends but when I'm quiet it makes me feel weird, which in turns makes them feel weird (this could all just be in my head but that's how it feels sometimes). I know trauma can change a person sometimes, and that can take sometimes to get over, I just want to know if anyone has some advice that could speed this process up, if anyone has had a similar experience and got over it, I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks.

Answer 1

Trauma does change a person... you just have to give yourself a chance and your friends to alter the friendship.  If something that significant happened and changed you... it'll take some time to work that out.  You probably have a newer respect for things... your friends aren't sure what to say to you.  Sometimes you can recover from that.. sometimes you can't.  I have two friends that have been my closest friends for 20 years... but I am married.. settling down.. trying to start a family... bought a house..etc..  they are both almost 40.. single, one still lives at home.. go bar hopping all the time... spend money like crazy.. are not saving for the future.. concert freaks..etc... NONE of that is important to me anymore... so we have REALLY grown apart.  THey are still my friends.. I will always love them... but we do not relate well with eachother anymore ebcause of how different our priorities are.  Does not make them bad people.. or me... but we don't talk as much as we used to.  SOmetimes things happen in life that make us find new people to surround ourselves with.. doesn't mean you have to give up the old... just need to fill in the spaces they can't.  

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that you were ill. I hope everything works out for you.  I'm sure that you aren't losing your friends.  It may just feel awkward being around you cause they know what you've gone through.  I say talk to them about what you're feeling.  If you avoid the obvious topic then being around you would make them feel uncomfortable.  Let them know that you enjoy their company and that if they have any questions to talk to you. Clear the air and things will get back to normal.