Feels like I am a babysitter instead of a wife?

Question

I am 19 years old, and have been seeing my fiance for nearly a year. We are getting married next May. I have noticed that when he eats, he chews with his mouth open. Not only this, but when he is chewing, he talks, and there is a view of chewed up food. It is discusting! He is 25 years old and you'd think he's know better. I have asked him to chew with my mouth closed, I look away when he talks, everything. Its gotten to the point where I want to offer him an ultimatum. I don't want to, but I feel I have to in order to get any where.

Not only this, he wont eat what I fix him. Tonight, I made greenbean cassarole, maidrites, and a noodle thing. He ate everything but the the greenbeans, after he told me he liked them. He doesnt eat a big meal so I know he wasnt full. About 30 mins. after the meal, he went and made a bowl of cereal because he was hungery. He wont eat dinner, but wants to snack all night! Its is frusterating. I slave over a hot stove to prepare a home cooked meal for him, but to be shown ungratfulness. Help!

Answer 1

ask him what's going on in his head? ask if he'd rather not have meals cooked by his fiance...why wouldn't he? maybe he's just being picky or trying to get on your nerves,,i don't know

Answer 2

that's not a way to go into a marriage.

Answer 3

Men are never going to do what we want them to do, likewise women can never always please men. If he doesn't like the food you make, stop worrying about making things he likes and cook things that you like. There are plenty of things that my husband does that I don't like, but I don't say anything because there are plenty of things that I do and my husband doesn't like. If these are his only faults I wouldn't let it get in the way of a good relationship.

Answer 4

I was having a conversation with my boss about how my bf little "quirks" annoy me.

He sucks his fingers after dinner, he slurps his food and makes gross noises with his fingernails.

My boss said that if you have a look at old couples that are still together - they have their partner pissing them off with their little quirks 24/7 but they can ignore it...when you marry someone you take them as they are.

After my boss said that I was just like "pft whatever you reckon, it's just rude to slurp food" I went home that night and listened to him slurp food and suck his fingers after dinner and smiled.

He's an awesome guy and if this is all he does wrong then he can slurp away.

You have to look at the BIG picture.

Cook less food.....that way if he doesn't eat it all it doesn't matter. Find out what he wants to eat and likes eating.

Answer 5

It's a good thing you're figuring out these things now.  The question, though, is if you can still live with these traits in this guy.  

Love begins with respect.  Are the things he's doing enough to lose your respect?  I don't think chewing with one's mouth open is enough to dismiss a guy, but it does mean something when he feels he can't tell you he doesn't like what you made for dinner.  

Communication is also so very important.  Do you feel you can ask your man if he's going to like what you're making for dinner?  Do you feel he's going to give you an honest answer?  If you can't communicate about something simple like dinner, what else won't you be able to communicate about?  

One thing a lot of people forget about marriage, too, is you're picking a roommate in addition to picking a husband.  Don't think you can change his traits too much -- he is what he is.  Can you live with his idiosyncrasies?  Can you accept that his diet sometimes sucks?  Because if you think you're going to change someone completely just because you're marrying them, you're expecting a lot.  

I'm not trying to talk you out of marrying the guy -- there must be some reason you got engaged that you didn't discuss above.  But these are things you need to consider as you think about having a talk with this guy about these things.  

Answer 6

LOL HOMER SIMPSON...AHH ID LOVE YOUR FIANCE YOU POOR LITTLE MARGE HEHEHE

Answer 7

girl you best pay attention to your feelings . it don't sound much like this dude will fill the bill for you cause sure'nuf he ain't gonna change just cause you want him to. even one of those dislikes is enough to send you packing and you got a whole list of stuff. think on it tmm

Answer 8

If you feel this way now, how do you think you'll feel a year after you're married.

Answer 9

You have till May to improve him to the way you want>

There is hope if you go forward with your changes> Your meal sounded great>To bad he didn't like it> If you have issues sitting across from him know> It will be worse by May>

Answer 10

Time to put the brakes on getting married. If you find exception now to his bad habits and you find his conduct unbecoming then tell him and keep yur options open. Once yur married you can't just  say away as your are stuck with him and a lifetimes a long time to live with habits that bother you.His bad eating habits will equate to a fat boy come middle age and you'll be left with the job of picking up the peices or having to live with these habits forever. Tell him you concerns and if he doesn't change time to go shopping