Fellow AP and PAP, whose idea was adoption, yours or spouses?

Question

Just wondering. In our case my husband was the champion because at the time I had not dealt with my grief at miscarriages and failed pregnancy attempts.

IN our homestudy our social worker says she finds most men more reluctant, or at least having to be "talked into" adoption, which lead me to wonder if that is true.

By the by, now husband and I are both excited about our new family and the future lives we will all have.

Answer 1

My husband had mentioned it several months after the death of his father. I knew it was an option but I needed more time.

Time to grieve and come to terms with "unexplained infertility". I wanted some kind of diagnosis or explanation.

In any case a year went by when I initiated the discussion.....he was so happy. We were both 27.

Answer 2

My husband also brought it up.  I was thinking about it and was afraid to talk to him about it.  We had many unsuccessful attempts of in vitro and miscarriages etc.  I think he brought it up because he saw how hard all the hormones shots etc were on me.  We are lucky and should love our husbands very much.

Answer 3

Well, if we're talking specifically adoption, then it was my idea.  He jumped on the bandwagon almost immediately, but he wanted to do his research first.  He's been working with troubled kids for 7 years now, and has been working with kids in general for I think about 13 years.  Foster care adoption is totally up his alley, he just didn't know about it.  I had a friend who has adopted 5 children through the foster care system, and I spent a weekend with her.  By the time I came home, I had our whole lives all planed out, lol!  And we weren't even married yet!  But yeah, hubby jumped right on it.

Answer 4

We're still in the stage of just considering adoption, but it was my idea. My fiance hadn't thought about it before because he didn't think we would have any problems conceiving, but he definitely wasn't opposed to it. I didn't have to talk him into it or anything. We're still trying to conceive & considering adoption as an option after we get married this summer.

Answer 5

It was my idea.

Answer 6

My husband, I was too scared after we buried our stillborn daughter.  I was terrified of loving and losing another baby.  Obviously it all worked out in the end.  We now have 5 beautiful girls.