Fellow Moms, Regarding Bowling Alley Perv What Would You Do?

Question

The past couple of weeks there is this middle-aged man who hangs out at the bowling alley watching the kids bowl. We noticed him walking around and trying to talk to the mothers (perhaps to pick them up... i don't know)

Anyway, he comes down by us and this other mom who we don't know welcomes the man and he comes to join us. We thought that she might have known him so we didn't say anything. They were talking about what her daughter does, how old she is, MySpace... random things. When he left we asked her who he was and she said she never met him before.

Our daughters felt uncomfortable with this man around and asked us who he was and why he was with us. The next week the man came back so I went to report to the manager. The manager said that he will be on the watch but he can't do anything at this point because the man technically hasn't done anything wrong; especially since the other woman allowed him to come over.

I just hate feeling like this; did I do the right thing?

Answer 1

You absolutely did the right thing.  I have kids too and am always watchihg out for people like that at the playground, etc.  Keep and eye on him, for sure.  While at home, you might want to call the non-emergecny police number, tell them what your concern is.  See if, the next time you see this guy there, you could call the cops and ask them to do a little "visit" to the bowling alley, just as part of a patrol.  Give his clothing description.  If the guy is up to no good, he will leave, asap.  it's also possible he is  a "person of interest" that the cops have thier eye on.  Good luck.

Answer 2

You did the right thing. Now if anything does happen the manager is aware of the situation. It's better to be safe than sorry. Trust me you would have felt worse if you had not said anything and something had happened.

Answer 3

You absolutley did the right thing. That's very creepy and I'd be carefull about which other moms u leave u'r daughter with, because she doesn't seem very observant or protective over who is around her own daughter and it sounds like she says way too much information about her daughter that a pervert could later use to get to her. U can NEVER be too careful!

Answer 4

Of COURSE you did the right thing.  Watch him like a hawk and leave no child alone when he's in the area.  In fact, if he has no business there (that is he isn't selling, bowling, a meeting someone, I'd probably ask the police to have a visit with him.

Answer 5

Be alert, but other than that there is nothing you can do.  He has done nothing wrong.  The way people make friends is to meet new people.  You should ALWAYS be alert, whether a situation like this is occuring or not.  I am not saying he is not a pedophile or the like-he very well could be.  He could also be a widower who liked to bowl with his wife, and is lonely.  You never know.

Again, be alert.  Make an effort to talk to him  yourself-you might be shunning an innocent person that just wants to make friends.  Talking to him can only help ease your fears, or confirm them if he seems suspicious.  If he does/says anything wrong, then alert the manager and police.  Until then, you should be polite and respectful, as should he.

Answer 6

You absolutely did the right thing.  Try to stay with people you know and kids you know so that you can prevent random weirdos joining you.  

The other mom did something that could potentially be dangerous.  Especially if your girls were uncomfortable.

Answer 7

Kick him in the nuts.lol

Answer 8

Why are you allowing this woman who you do not know into your group?  And to allow a stranger into the group is even more weird.  

Report it to the manager was the right move.  I would not go back to said bowling alley by chance that this "perv" might join you thinking you are friends.

Answer 9

I would also pass the word around to the other bowlers, stuff like this spreads like wildfire when you plant the seed. I assure you he will not hang around much longer when people begin to shun him and by the way, consider ditching that other mum what a loony!

Answer 10

I would be direct with him. If a strange man hung around my children, staring at them and trying to initiate contact with me or them. I would ask him to stay away and make it clear that if I saw him again I would report him to the management. Most people who are up to no good, don't like to feel that others can see this. You did the right thing.

Answer 11

You can never be too careful these days, especially with young daughter. I think you did by alerting the staff of a potential problem, now the rest is up to them. I'd keep my daughter out of that place, you just never know.