Fellow atheists? about Evolution, family and christians?

Question

Hoe do you deal with family members, when you tell them about your atheism for the first time!!

My sister visited me this week-end, and I finally told her that I was an atheist( I have only been one for two years).

Anyway>. she sat there looking at me. dumbfounded, and said ''But, you can't be, that isn't right!!

I said, ''Why not''?

''Because god exists, and jesus dies for our sins''! she said humbly

''That's what we were TAUGHT'! I said

'because that is what THEY believed! she threw back at me

'Well, I don't believe that nonsense anymore'!

'Well, that isn't all of it, there is more''! she replied

'What? I said

She said, '''Well look outside''!

I said, ''There is not one thing in the whole world, that has not evolved from one thing into something else''!

She folded her arms, and looked at me angrily, and said, ''I did NOT come from no fricking monkey!!

It was all I could do not to come undone laughing, and she got up, and stalked off into the bedroom.

Maybe I could have handled it better? but, where do they GET this stuff from!

How are we supposed to deal with family members who act like this??

Is this going to get easier?, or harder! I think I have decided to leave my other sister in the dark!

It is 2008, and we are living in enlightened times, are we not??

I felt like I took a fast trip back to the Dark ages!

Why does this have to be so hard???

Answer 1

Ever heard the saying: You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into.... ?

Well, it's very true. Especially if they aren't willing to hear you.

You may just have to learn to ignore the inflammatory ignorance, and love them and their right to believe such things, in spite of any reason you may convey to them.

Some people do come around. Others don't. There's no way to know for sure without knowing your family. Just keep being honest and being you. Try to be tactful with family, as much as possible, but don't hide who you are to make way for who they are. That doesn't do anyone any good.

Answer 2

"It is 2008, and we are living in enlightened times, are we not??"

You have fallen into the trap of atheism and science with no present explanation.

Meaning people that make that statement are under the belief that if you allow enough time,something will eventually happen.If you give a broken cup enough time, it will eventually put itself back together.

This is nonesense, only nothing comes from nothing and a broken cup will continue to be broke till someone comes to fix it.

Anyway, your sisters displeasure is understandable.

But advice I would give you is what the Bible says:

1 Peter 3:15-But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

In the scripture it's for Christians but even as an atheist,I suggest you be ready to give answer to anyone that ask you why you believe what you do.

Answer 3

This is not something I can help you with. It is also something that I find surprising. This is because where I am from it is more surprising if someone is religious. It is very surprising and considered a bit weird if you take it very seriously.

Here in the UK, 1/3 are atheist/agnostic (that's 22 million of us) a further 400,000 claim to be Jedi, and 50% of people who declare a belief in some sort of god, don't go to worship on a regular basis.

My advise with your sister though, is to take it a step at a time. Talk to her about the monkey comment, just say that, it makes two of us, and here is what the science said happened.  

Answer 4

Your sisters a live one isn't she, if you have respect and patience for each other, you and your family can easily overcome your religious differences, but remember it works both ways.

I was lucky, Dad is  a science teacher and mum believes in god, so I never had to deal with any of that.

Answer 5

I just tell them when it comes up.

I don't believe in god,and that's that.

I told my mom once and she simply said"You don't have to believe in order for it to be true,and I smirked at the irony of it.

I'm not hardcore into evolution but from what I know of it,it seems way more possible than a magic sky daddy.

Answer 6

lol

this reminded me of a coming out question.

coming out as an atheist!!

ugh when did we ever get out of the dark ages?

anyone who isnt a straight white christian is treated like c**p by at least 1 group of people. and everyone who isnt a straight white christian has another group with some people in it (in my case....like 30 groups)

who want you dead just for who you are, what you look like, or how you believe.

Answer 7

Tell then rite

Answer 8

all you do is say 'ok well thats your view and your entitled to it, i respect that and i respect you,  i only hope that you can accept my view and respect it  and respect me too'

when they do the look at the world, bit you say 'yes but i dont see what you see and you dont see what i see

and thats why we have differnt views, only im not expecting you to see what i do'

if they act like anything , you just say' its your right as their view is theirs'



its about fairness and about accepting, soemthing they supposedly teach,

and if they are true to their teachings, they will be happy you are happy, if not, you can point that out too and then say ' i dont want to talk about this again if we can not  discus it respectfully and just be tolerant and accepting of each others beleifs and its not important enough to cause a problem between you all over"

thankfully, ive never encountered this type of thing, because we are not a very religious country here

its as easy or as difficult as you allow it to be and want it to be

simply, if they make a big deal, you dont, just be calm, rational, and try to appeal to their fair, tolerant, caring and decent side

Answer 9

Every family is different, but with mine, I'm slowly making it obvious that I don't believe the things they believe.

I think it's better that way than telling them flat out, I'm an atheist.

But a lot of people don't understand atheism, and that's scary for them.

Try to teach them. Maybe they'll come around.

Answer 10

Mysty,

first, i'm a christian so understand my answer might not be standard in response to others.

to begin with, your decision that god is non-sense is a personal one and your sister may not have the ability to even begin to graspe your reasons.  i mean no disrepect in this statement, but some people just don't get it.

in the same way that i accept the existence of God, you don't believe in the existence of god.  

this is part of our rights of passage from children when we are spoon feed various things like the snow man, santana claus, great pumkin and other fairy tales.  

like you i have made an adult decision to sort real from fake and while we take different paths, it is the way of our choice.

now as to family.  there is that chance that you will be on the outside and that is never easy. I know as i live on the outside of my family by choice, long story, but you get the idea.

it will never be easy for your sister for she loves you and thinks you are on your way to wherever.   what you have to do, is make sure you understand why you feel like you do.

it is not a case of building a defense, on the contrary, it is to make sure you are clear so that you are not swayed for some other ism out there.

you will have to find your own way, and it may be apart from those you knew as family.

i do wish you the best, and don't give up on them, they may accept you and not belittle you, then you have the best of all worlds

Answer 11

You can always have her committed if she continues her anti social behaviour .  

Answer 12

You tell them you will respect their beliefs in their home and they will respect yours in your home.   I fortunately grew up in an atheist household.  My father had been Welsh/Irish and my mom Russian/Jewish.  Neither set of grandparents had been remotely religious.  I was raised among atheists and bohemians.  If I had rebelled, it would have been by becoming a conservative Christian!  

Answer 13

Well,  its tough for you right now, because you are young, and so, you have to have a lot of interaction with such family members.

Your sister shows that many people haven't even joined the 20th Century, never mind the 21st. But, you can't make them embrace reason and evidence, any more than they can make you embrace ignorance and willful ignorance.  

Answer 14

kool-aide anyone?

Answer 15

Maybe you shouldn't have laughed at her.

Answer 16

This is precisely the reason why my atheism is not known by anyone in my family. Most of my friends are in the dark too.

Answer 17

Unfortunately, fully half the population is of below average intelligence.  It is something that must be tolerated because there is no viable alternative.

Answer 18

Yeah...frankly that deserved to be laughed at.  To bad it was your sister.

I personally avoid the subject with most relatives.  I figure I have to deal with them on occasion, so it isn't worth it.

Tell your sister to email one of us.  We can tell her.

Answer 19

I'm never speaking a word about my atheism to my family. My Grandma would probably scream and faint. My Grandfather would try to baptize me again or he'd splash me with his holy oils (he's a preacher). And at every family meeting I'm forced to attend, converting me back would be the primary focus.

I think I'll just keep my beliefs to myself.

Answer 20

The US today is about the same as Britain was 200 years ago. It's tough for you now, but the good news is, you'll all gradually grow up and stop believing in fairies.

I hope so anyway. What with all those guns and warheads you've got, an'all.

Answer 21

Luckily, my fathers agnostic. I have an aunt that's very religious, I respect her religion, If she gets to pushy I just tell her, that I respect her beliefs and she needs to respect mine. We keep at that and don't discuss it much.

Answer 22

yeah. that is the life of an atheist. sad ain't it?

"I did NOT come from no fricking monkey!!"

i just LOL'd

Answer 23

Just give her time... don't try to persuade her, just answer her questions when she asks, and keep being you.  It will work out over time.