Females, give a man a hand?

Question

firstly let me say in advance i appreciate you reading this.

my girlfriend broke up with me over a month ago. we dated for a year. I can't stop thinking about her..i really do miss her a lot..and want her back. I became too needy..I didn't give her any space at all really..she's been really really busy this summer.

After the break up I tried to get back with her, she told me she just didnt want to date anybody at all right now...it got kind of intense for the both of us. I went home for a month now, we haven't talked that much..she was my best friend and i tried to keep talking like we used to but it wasnt going to happen. But when we do talk, I try to be the man and flirt with her..she flirts back..and we have a bet going over a board game when i get back which will result in either me giving her a long massage or her cooking me dinner for the evening.

Like what the heck? I know she's hanging out with other guys right now...but she says she doesn't want to date anyone (which i believe her..like we were always so honest to eachother..i can't see her lying to me..uhh girls would she? she's very religious). I don't want to do these things with her..because it will break my heart knowing I can't kiss the girl. At the same time, i want her back so badly..and feel I can be enough of a casanova to peak her interest again.

Do I have any chance of getting this girl back?? Or should I just reluctantly give up? I'm at a loss at what to do..i dont want to give her everything she wants while I am craving more. At the same time, I don't want to give up and lose any opportunity to get her back.

Thanks!

Answer 1

You have a chance, just give her space. Dont rush things and give her time to see hoe great for her you can be.

Answer 2

She seems to be playing with your feelings. If i were you, I would forget her. She's not worth it. A real good person would not flirt or massage u unless she wanted you. She might be wanting to play the field but not tell you she's a playgirl.

Answer 3

It sounds like she really is taking some time off from dating. Let her have that time if she needs it and don't rush her.

Just wait patiently, and see what happens when her time-out from relationships is done.

Answer 4

sounds like she is having some committment issues. if you really love her be her friend, after a jerk or two she may realize what a good guy she had and want you back.i hope it works out for you

Answer 5

I'm not a female but I do have advice for your situation.  

She just needs some space to think things over since she has been really busy.  She is probably stressed out about some other things.  If that is the case, she will get back together with you once she has completed everything.  She just needs time and doesn't want you to feel a burden of depreciation.  Time will fix everything.  Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, she don't want to date anymore, in some girls they like to be single all of their lives by keeping more away from her it's gonna break your heart more due to just sitting there thinking about her why don't you hang with her and just be friends I know you love her to death, but she likes being single so you gotta accept that if you love her so so much.

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

be a friend, not a man.  try to be there when she wants you there.  don't call, or talk to her unless she calls you, or whatever.  if she doesn't communicate with you for a week call her, text her email her, something.  not all three.  you'll know if she just wants you to be 'the friend' or 'the man'.

best of wishes(:

Answer 8

Hun, she is done with you.  Girls say things for a reason, what she is saying to you is that she doesn't want to date you anymore.  Sure, you can give all the effort in the world, but put it somewhere where it will be useful....work on yourself, your confidence.  You don't NEED this chick, you WANT her.  Don't make her keep rejecting you, she is moving on, so should you.

Answer 9

It would be somewhat easier to answer your question with a bit more information. Why did she break up with you. I am sure it is not just because you were too needy. There must be something more to it than that.

Sounds as if you do love her. Maybe just give her the room she needs and she might miss you too.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

I know you're asking girls, but you are going to have to understand girls are no more understanding of the "female condition" than many guys are.  Actually, they tend to be even less understanding in my experience.  

You need some clear cut rules and communication.  

Do you have a chance of having this girl back, yes absolutely yes, but the real question you should be asking yourself, is do you really want her back, and leave your feelings at the door when you answer that question and answer with your head because it sounds like she is s******g around with your feelings whether she means to or not.  

There are complicated rules and strategies for winning back a girl, or winning any girl in general.  But I ask you, do you really want to be with a woman that you have to do things like that or they may leave you at the drop of a hat because you didn't do everything just right?  And the truth is, girls don't want to feel like you are walking on eggshells around them either, yes there are great dating tips and nice things to do out there, but if you are struggling to be perfect then they are struggling to not be insane.  

I ask you this, who terminated the relationship in the first place, if it was her, time to stop giving her the time of day and tell her that you can't be friends with her.  You want a relationship, or nothing at all because you cannot live a life that exists somewhere in between as it is too hard on you.  Do it nicely because you do want a relationship with her, but be honest that you recognize you care too much for her to just be friends with her.  

Second, stop blaming yourself, if she broke up with you, she failed the relationship, not you.  As long as you fulfilled, or at least tried to fulfill the conditions which you agreed to then you are not in violation of the contract of the relationship, and I am uncertain as to whether or not she is.  If you didn't "give enough to her needs" then she didn't communicate her needs well enough to you, you can't give her what she didn't ask for, do not cater to her psychological maladies and then blame yourself.  It's sweet that you care so much but you are tearing yourself apart.  

Reverse your roles in your mind for a second and ask yourself what you would do if you were her and cared for you the way you care for her, and if the way she treats you is right.  'Try her dress on for a size' and see if she really did treat you with any form of caring and respect, or whether she is just being selfish and abusive.  It's fine if you are okay with such a personality, but you should recognize that is her personality, and you need to start setting yourself some boundaries and standing up for your own wants and interests.  And I don't mean in a mean fashion, assertiveness, not aggressiveness.

Answer 11

first off, you're pretty lucky to experience anything like that, most people don't get that emotionally far.

but i think you should just give it some time, let her make up her mind.

you don't know how much of a turn off it is to see a guy constantly at your feet. and in the meantime, go meet some people. have fun.

time heals everything.

i'm not saying it's over.

just give it some time.

time heals everything :]]

good luck.

Answer 12

i think that for now, you should let things cool down. maybe sometime later in the year, if you still have those feelings for her, you can approach her with it but for now, just let things be. you can talk to her, but just as friends. she's probably suffering from post break-up and she was probably being serious when she said she didn't want to date anyone right now

Answer 13

aha i couldnt read all that;

shorten it buddy.

Answer 14

just tell her what you told us. i know its sounds simple and kind of stupid but just tell her how you feel if she doesn't feel the same way, drop her because you deserve better. just talk to her without all the flirting and stuff just talk it out and see how it goes because you don't want to seem desperate

good luck!!

Answer 15

Sounds to me like she is only 'very religious' when it's convenient for her. She felt smothered by you, but likes you, or she wouldn't have been with you in the first place.

You are what she knows, that's why s*x or flirting with an ex is so comfortable and familiar.

Just see where it goes man. Never mind the other guys (if any). Just pretend you are also moving on, maybe slip out some rumors of you dating, and you will be far more interesting to her then when you were always around.

They say men need to hunt, but that same goes for girls!

Answer 16

You might be able to get her back, but it might take a while. Just play it cool, and don't force yourself on her. You need to give her space, but at the same time, don't ignore her. I hope I helped!

Answer 17

1-Don't call

2-Don't sound desperate

3-Try to sound like your moving on with your life

4-Don't play games or pay attention to her at all

5-She will wonder what the h**l is going on

6-Absence makes the heart grow fonder

7-If you do all this and she doesn't call you crying her eyes out asking why you don't play into her bs anymore then it's time to move on!!!

ps. I'm a girl and girls break up w/ boyfriends because they think the grass is greener on the other side and they want freedom!!! She might want to play the field for a bit. Usually girls know when the are with the right guy and if she's breaking it off she thinks your night right for her. Also is she young?? That means a lot too. Most girls aren't ready for seriousness until mid 20's  

Answer 18

aw ur just getting over the breakup.she might still like u but just doesnt have time. i say let it go and dont take it too personaly. everyone gets a little too clingy sometimes.  

Answer 19

Take the hint, dude!

Get a cat or something.

Answer 20

At first I thought you were asking for a happy ending.

Answer 21

You said yourself you're overly needy.  Take it very SLOWLY if you want her back, otherwise back off completely and look elsewhere.

Answer 22

read this article:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/s*x/datin...

i found it pretty intersting. and me being a girl, i would probably do exactly what the author said and rethink my decision.

Answer 23

I would tell her that you appreciate her friendship and would like to continue it.  Tell her that you are sorry about being to clingy to her and that you realize that you were insecure.  Tell her you have been working on it and you realize that insecurity can ruin a relationship.  Tell her you miss what you had, and you miss her.  Tell her that even if she decides to only be friends with you that you will respect her wish.

In order to gain confidence in yourself, I would suggest a few things:

Try taking a karate class, or something like that.  It will bring your self confidence up.  

See a counselor about your insecurities and to learn how to communicate to your significant other about those and any other feelings.

Just take things slowly and if it is meant to be, it will happen.  Give it time and work on your self confidence.

I know you can do it and I pray you will be writing us in the near future about how you have gained confidence in yourself and in communicating with others and how happy you are.  You will have your bad days, but everyone does.  You are not perfect and everyone makes mistakes.  Just have faith that God will love you no matter what.  He hears  all your prayers.

God Bless you.