A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished.He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, and a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the heck were you when I got married?"
joke2
A man had just finished reading the book Man of the House while commuting home from work. By the time he reached home, he stormed into the house and walked directly up to his wife, pointing a finger in her face, he said. "From now on I want you to know that I am the man of the house and my word is law! You are to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect you to present a scrumptious dessert. Then, after dinner, you are to draw my bath so I can relax. And when I am finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The funeral Director would be my guess," She replied.
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