Fiance? Or Ex!? Please HELP!?

Question

I am so confused and could use some help.. I have a yr old son with my ex.. My ex has not had anything to do with our son at all since the birth. They have met once. I started dating another man.. and have been engaged for about 5 months. He is an amazing "father" to my son. He is an amazing man.. my ex.. (son's dad) recently showed up and has realized all that he has missed out on.. and realized that he wants not only my son.. but me back. He showed up.. proposed and asked me to consider us being a family again.. I still love him.. I always will.. but having said that.. I am also in love with my fiance.. They both know that I am confused and I have been honest with everyone involved.. I am sooo lost though. Do I go back and try things with my ex.. in hopes that he really has changed.. or do I stay with my fiance.. and try to overcome the feelings I have for my ex.. Please help!

Answer 1

hi there!,

the first time you were with your ex it didn't work out and you were most probably crying loads about it! if i were you i'd try and make it work with your fiance, by all means allow your baby's father to be part of the baby's life if that's what  he wants but dont go back to him, it'll just end in tears again!! best of luck to you x

Answer 2

Your ex is your ex for a reason. A leopard doesn't change it's spots. I know you say you have been honest with everyone but have you thought about how hurt your fiancé must be. He has brought up another mans child with you and now you don't know what you want.

Only you can make the decision but I think that you would be better off on your own. Giving your fiancé the chance of happiness with someone who truly loves him.

Answer 3

You know what the right thing to do is. Do not take your ex back, you will end up getting hurt and hurting your current fiance. It takes a real man to stand up and take care of another man's child as if it were his own. For you to even consider abandoning him is just plain wrong and disrespectful. Forget your ex...he is not deserving of a second chance. He bailed on you after your son was born and it took him a full year to realize what he lost. He is capable of bailing again.  

Answer 4

Well, if I were you, I would go back with your ex. I think you should because when your son grows up, he'll grow up with the father-figure of his real dad. Also, your ex REALLY wants to hang out with his son, who he's only met once. You should give him a second chance. If you continue with your fiance then you'll have problems with where the child will stay with, you, or your ex. Please let me know what happens. Thanks.

Answer 5

I hate to tell you this, but...wait it out. Start communicating with your ex again, maybe let your son spend lots of time with him, just kind of scope it out. spend some time alone with your fiance, and let your son stay with dad... then candidly ask your son how it was, what did you do, that kind of stuff. and see if your fiance still carries the same kind of enchantment that he had before you and your ex started talking again. this is difficult, because you have to look out for both yourself, and your child. but, remember, if you're not happy, your child probably won't be either. i hope this helped..

Answer 6

Stay with your fiance, he's never disrespected you or your son the way your ex did and why take a chance on your ex when you've got such a good thing going w/this other guy? Besides, your son is probably much more familiar and attached to your fiance since he's only met your ex once as you said.  

Answer 7

From what I can tell, your ex blew his big chance with you.  He walked out on you and your son.  He may have regrets about it now, but I would think very long and hard about why he wasn't standing by you when your son was born.  I doubt I would give him another chance to break my heart and hurt my son in the process.  Your fiance has been faithful, loving, loyal, and a good father to your son.  It takes a lot for a man to accept a woman with someone else's child.  I should know.  I have been where you are.  I never would have considered taking back my son's father.  Every situation is different but you should be moving forward in your life, not looking back.  Just my opinion.

Answer 8

Your ex is your ex for a reason and whilst he has realised that he now wants you and his son, he is too late.

Your fiance sounds like a great man to be able to accept your baby and also have the patience to wait for your decision whilst you make up your mind. How many men would do that.

Its easy to think about the past because thats what we know about as its already happened and the future is something mysterious but we have the means to make it what we want and not what we had.

If it were me, I would marry my fiance, after all he is the one that is offering you a new life and your ex is offering you your old one back.

Good luck and I am sure you will make the right decision.

Answer 9

stay with ur fiance