Fiance wants to wait on the move in..What to do?

Question

My fiance and I broke up two months ago. We reconciled, and currently still talking about how we ant things to go in our "new" life. However, in the process of the breakup, I obtained and apartment. Now, I want to move back in and she is hesitant. She's not 100% comfortable with me yet. She has told her family and friends about the reconciliation, but they tell her to take it easy. In my opinion she is really over thinking the situation. Since the break up we've had a baby. I want to be there for her and him. We have a child apiece, and she fears that our pa ranting styles are very different. They were and I've changed. My boy has ADD(7 yrs old) and hers is 5. She fears a negative influence. I am begging for her help with my son. I love her so much and want to begin our new and improved relationship. Life is too short in my book. I have thought about it and have faith that it will work. She admits that she is on the "fence". I want her to have faith and trust in me and to know that I will make it all the best for her and our children. She has a bad habit about listening to others(family) and NOT fol owing her heart. How do I get her to follow her heart? Or do I let it all go and find a life for myself, or wait it out, which is the hardest?

Answer 1

Wait for her to be ready.

Answer 2

She does have the right to take as much time as she needs. You also have the right to not wait around forever if that is what you choose. It does appear to me that she is being a little selfish.

Answer 3

relax. fools rush in. you need to deal with yourself first. then she might want to be with you. and if she is willing to not move in with you is for a reason. this is just a test, and only a test. and she is following her heart. whether its  what you want or not.

Answer 4

Sorry but I don't see it working out. In my life experience if I couldn't stand someone enough to break up with them, it never worked out the second time around.  

Answer 5

Your impatiences smacks of immaturity.

Take some parenting classes together

Get some pre-marital counseling.

Don't shack up without being married.

You don't follow your heart, you follow your head and make good decision based on maturity and sound judgment.

Answer 6

Do you really want to spend your life with a woman who can not make decisions on her own?

Be very careful, my friend, because people like this do not always lead healthy lives with their partners - They end up becoming prisoners to what the "family" thinks.

Either she grows up and behaves like a woman or you are set out to live a very miserable life where your opinions and feelings are on the back burner.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Talk to her let her know you will do whatever she wants as long as there's a chance for the 2 of you to be together.  Ask her if counseling would help because you are willing to do what needs to be done.

Answer 8

I would move on and PLEASE stop making babies all over the place already!

She probably sees how you are with your "ADD" (cop out) son and knows she does not want you around to mess up this one.

Answer 9

Give her time.  She has every right to be sure and go as slowly as she feels necessary.  She has children to think about in this situation.  If you truly love her, you'd just maturely stand back and be loving and kind in the process.  It may not work out, but if you love her, love her enough to wait and see. If you are simply worried about what is the hardest thing to do, I doubt you love her enough anyway and her need to wait is right on the money.

Answer 10

Having "faith" that it will all just work out is where you are now - both single with kids!!!!

PLANNING, ANALYSING each others character to see if you do have the same goals, same parenting styles, same understanding about stuff - that's what will make a marriage last.

Your wanting it to work - WON"T MAKE IT WORK!!!!

Why did you break up?  Whatever caused the breakup, habits, opinions, living style is still there and has to be resolved fully before any commitments are made.