Fiancee left because she was confused what should I do?

Question

My fiancee and I have been together for over 3 years and we love each other alot. However, this summer she is away from me all week long at work and she is "attracted" to one of her co-workers. I told her that it is natural for her to feel this "attraction" because this is the one that she spends all week with (she only gets to come home on the weekends). The have to be working together 24/7 so it makes sense that she would feel this "attraction". The problem is that she has never had this problem before and it has her very confused and she feels guilty for it so she decided that she wanted to have a "break". I completly respect her for telling me to my face about this instead of hiding it from me and I respect her decision to take a break until she gets things sorted out. However, it is completly killing me inside but I do not want to let it on that it hurts me. I dont know if that is a dumb move or not.

Also, I had to go and see her last night (4 days after the break started) and she got a "pouty" look on her face and when I asked her what was wrong she pointed to my ring finger where I used to wear my promise ring that she had gave me. I then told her that I was going to take her engagement ring back. She then told me she wanted me to leave because I was going to make her cry.

I know she still loves me but she just has to get her feelings straight. If anyone has any suggestions for what I should do please help me!

Answer 1

Wow. This is a rough situation. I'm a hopeless romantic. So, I say keep the ring. If this is the woman you love, then fight. Don't wait too long though. Maybe this "attraction" at work will lead up to her wanting a relationship with that person to "test the waters" and then making you look like a fool. Good luck!

Answer 2

Theirs no such thing as confusion.She doesnt love you our else she would be with you.She wouldnt be second guessing.What a B****.Move on hun.

Answer 3

Maybe you should have worn the promise ring to indicate that you still felt the same way about her.  Why don't you just tell her how you feel outright instead of playing guessing games together?  If you told her you were going to take her engagement ring back, it way you yourself that was giving the wrong signal.  Communication is always better in a relationship, I hope that you two start to talk about your relationship openly and get your problem sorted out one way or the other.  Good luck.  

Answer 4

I don't think you really could have done anything differently. If she wants a break, she shouldn't be wearing the engagement ring. Engagement rings are for people who are committed, and she isn't fully committed right now. Same thing with promise rings. Even though you are sure, how can you wear a ring from someone who isn't?

It WAS good of her to be up front with you, and you ARE being understanding. No one is a bad guy here, and you are both hurting. Unfortunately, sometimes that can't be avoided in life.

Best of luck with everything.

Answer 5

Both men and women are very emotional,keep in mind that there may come a time.That when you love someone there may come times you two may seperate.After allowing them to have some much needed space,have the person.Truly loved and missed you they may come back to your open arms.

Answer 6

um you started out understanding, but then you stoped

if this is the woman you want to be with you dont accept breaks out of house, and ring removals

you sit her down, and you talk, and you talk, and you help her figure her head out and get out in the rigth end, comforting her when she is confused

so you started rigth, then steped wrong, she obviously still love you she just feel guilty because of society expectation of norm...you obviously aint buying into the "norm" which is a great thing, but now you have to convince her that you really dont, and that she shouldnt either...its the only way you can make her stop feeling guilty...and at the end of it she should love you even more for being understanding and work through it with her

its something your relationship will benefit from

so i say go apologise and fetch her home, dont let her fret herself out and get herself dug into this ditch of nonsence and confusement...doing so is not going to help her solve it its just going to end her tossing it around till she dont know whats up and down

siting alone freting about it dont work, talking do, let her cry on your shoulder if she need to, but dont let go

Answer 7

A "break" ???

You did the right thing.  She should return the engagement ring to you immediately.  She cannot go investigate her feelings for another man while engaged to you.  She cannot have it both ways . . . you and the other man at the same time.

You were wise to ask for your ring back.  

I think you should get your ring back, then make every effort to stay busy and keep your mind off her.  I would make no attempts to reconcile.  If you cannot trust her now, you certainly would not be able to trust her later in marriage.

Read

Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends

by Bruce Fisher (Author)

It is available at amazon.com.

And good luck to you.  If this marriage was meant to be, she would not be interested in another man.  It is time for you to move on.  Seek counseling if necessary to help you deal with your feelings, but move on.