Fighting about reception location?

Question

My fiance and I cannot agree on a reception location. He likes a country club. I dont have a problem with the country club, but it accommodates 150 people sitting, and we invited 250! He said to have it open enough to where guests could sit outside under the pavilions, but I think its really rude to do that. I found a hall in a hotel that has plenty of space to hold every one, and my parents said they'd pay for the catering if we had it at the place I chose. However, my fiance will NOT under any circumstance have the reception at that hall because of the town its located in! We live in suburban Ohio and unfortunately do not have limitless choices as to where our reception can be held.

This is causing so many fights between him and I, and my mom and I. I just want to throw in the towel and call it quits (on having a wedding as opposed to just going to the court house). Has anyone had this much trouble over selecting a location??

Answer 1

Oh my gosh, I'm glad I'm not the only one that has had an awful time finding places to have my ceremony and reception! My fiance and I didn't fight about it, but he isn't happy with the place we are going to have it at. I also live in a smaller town, and we have very few places to have a reception with an estimated 300 people. Every place was either too small or big enough but - no air conditioner, or WAY TOO EXPENSIVE! Finally, I took charge and decided to have it at the fairgrounds expo hall. It holds 1,000 people and is air conditioned, it's the best looking place, but we can make it pretty. Just sit down and talk to him about the pros and cons of each place. Your wedding should be about you both coming together as a married couple, not about where you have your reception. If your mom is willing to pay for the catering, he needs to compromise!! That's one of the most expensive parts of the wedding!

Answer 2

Where in Ohio do you live?  I live in Chagrin Falls, outside Cleveland.  

Answer 3

Either cut the guest list to 150 - the capacity of the place he wants - or you have to find another venue that will hold 250 people.

Its absolutely rude to not have enough indoor space for all your invited guests.  What if it rains?  

Answer 4

i can tell you with complete authority that if your fiance thinks it is ok to have some guests luxuriating inside a country club ballroom while one third of the guests are baking outside on a patio, well, he is dead wrong.  the quickest way to enrage people and make enemies for life is to squash them into a room that is too small and then decide that there is a second tier of people who will have to sit in a hallway, side room, patio, or lobby while the main party goes on elsewhere.

  the hotel is the only place where you can fit everyone with the same level of comfort.  this must be where your reception has to be held, or, invite only the number of people who will comfortably fit in the country club ballroom.  

your guy is sure opinionated and snobbish, but is completely missing the bigger picture,  you are absolutely right, he is dead wrong, he wants a certain location because it fits his idea of fancy enuf  but doesnt care that the guests will be uncomfortable and insulted.  and believe me, they will be.  

i have been to zillions of weddings and charity events, and, the size of the room accomodating every single one of the guests on an equal basis is one of the inviolate rules of society.  

i have seen people try to get away with opening up side rooms and stuffing people in them, and it never ever works.  

trouble over selecting location?  yes.  this is the most important choice, it sets the mood and so must be big enuf for all your guests. period.  

Answer 5

I think you both need to meet each other in the middle. compromise. Sorry to tell you this, but if he's not willing to compromise now, what makes you think he will later? Fortunately, my man isnt even into the planning of where it'll be. He says he's basically going to pay for the wedding and arrive at the ceremony. haha. I would like to include him a little, but he says its my day to "shine" haha. the only one that really stands out is the bride anyway.

what i say though, is compromise. also, its ok to cut guests out of the list. Btw, if your mom get in the middle now, be careful. Its wonderful that she's paying for the catering, but don't let her choose, cuz then she'll want to "help" you with many more things or even change your mind. That's what happened with my quincenera, i learned and well, although i am letting her help with a few things, basically the decorations, food, music, etc is up to me or my fiance.

ultimately, our opinion is the one that counts, since there should only be 2 people in a marriage.