Fighting kids?

Question

I have a 8 year old daughter and an 11 year old son. They are both great kids. They are respectful and follow rules even when they are not at home. They both do really well in school. My problem is they fight constantly. They fight over the dumbest things. It does not turn physical. They even fight over who can be the nicest to me! Please help. I can't take this anymore. I don't even think they like each other at all. What can I do to stop this. I spend alone with with each of them. They get the same amount of love and support. They both have equally nice things, so it can't be jealousy.

Answer 1

i live in a small space so i can do this, but when my 7 and 9 year olds start bickering, they have to go to the smallest bathroom that we have to work out thier problem and they cant come out until they do.

they are just competitive kids thats all and they need some problem solving skills to work through thier issues. try removing them from the room when they start and then they will see that when they bickering starts it will be time to leave the room until problem solved

Answer 2

I have made my kids (all boys) hold hands with the one he fights with.  We are always on the go - practices, Cub Scouts, parties, etc...  When they fight, I tell them "You two owe me 5 minutes of family time" and the next time we go out (school, grocery store, park - wherever) they have to spend 5 minutes holding hands with the person they fought with.  I had a list on the fridge that had up to 20 minutes between 2 of them.  We went to the grocery store and they couldn't let go of each others hands.  No one owes me minutes right now.  I'm pretty sure they fight in private now.  I expect that.

Answer 3

I used to fight with my sibs CONSTANTLY!!!(BTW...we are the best of friends now) But for the purpose of your sanity, try this. When ever one of your children does something mean to the other, have them do a kind act for their sibling. Example: Say your daughter smacks her bro or yells at him, say "Because you were mean to your brother, I want you to do the opposite which is do something nice for him (make bed, do one of his chores, etc...) Consistency is the key!! They will defiantly grow out of this mom, Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

It's called sibling rivalry.. LOL

Me little brother and I used to fight ALL the time growing up.  There's really nothing that you can do.  My mom used to make us sit on the couch and hold hands until we were done fighting, but then we'd be right back at it a few minutes later.  Once she sat us down and told us that it really hurt her to see us fighting when we are supposed to love each other, and for the most part, that worked.

Now that we are older, he and I are closer than ever.  

Just remember, they'll fight with each other, but if someone was to pick on one of them, the other would always have their back.