Fighty autistic son question?

Question

My 6 year old son has moderately-severe autism. He is seeing people to help him, and it has been helping, but I am wondering if anyone has any tips for at home?

He goes to school, and is in Kindergarden / Special Ed, some morning he really anticipates going, other mornings he fights about it. Because of my schedual, I have to be out the door an hour before the bus picks him up, and at that point daddy is already gone. So we have my mother in law dress him (she is completely okay with it, she used to work at mental hospitals and other places and know how to work with Autistic children, and they have a pretty strong bond), yet there are mornings he is stomping his feet trying to fight getting dressed for school.

I don't want him to always do this for my mother in law. She has patience, and tries to do things when he's ready, but he gets so determined he doesn't have school that he will eventually get downright mean (to his grandma and 3 y/o sister!). This doesn't always happen.

Answer 1

Having a son with autism, I know each child with autism is different and what may work with one child may not work with another but maybe something here can help. =)

Maybe put him on a set routine/schedule from the time he wakes up to the time he gets on the bus if he doesn't have one. I know with my son and other autistic children they tend to like set routines and changing them can make them frustrated and act out.

Perhaps making a visual schedule out of a calendar so he sees what days he has school and which days he don't. Maybe put a picture of a school or a school bus on the days of the week he attends. When he gets home from school or maybe just before he goes to bed he can cross out 'today' on the calendar then he'll know right off the bat whether he has school or not tomorrow.

Does he do it the same days each week? Maybe there's something they do on a regular basis at school each week that he may not care for that makes him don't want to go.

Or does he only act this way when trying to get dressed with certain clothing, maybe has a sensory issue with the material and doesn't like the feel of it on his skin or maybe even the color(s) of it.

Maybe look into a local autism society..it can be a great place to get ideas from since it is ran by both professionals and parents. Agreat place for support too.

Maybe look into a local CARD Center (Center for Autism and Related Diseases-usually located at a local university). If you put your son into their database and you and/or you hubby attend an orientation they have great services to offer for free.

They have many classes that you, your husband, or mother-in-law can attend such as behavior basics I & II which is based off of ABA; potty training classes, feeding basics, IEP's & IDEA; and many more. They will also come to your home and work with him, you and any one else who is in contact with him on techniques and strategies to help him. If the school he attends gives approval, they will go there as well and work with teachers, aides, classmates, etc.

Maybe look into your insurance about behavioral therapy/counseling. For my son we have a behavioral counselor who is a licensed psycholoigist who comes once a week to our home to help him and us with his behavior, sensory issues, etc.

Answer 2

Is he able to partially participate in getting himself ready in the morning even a little bit. One game I have used with kids is "Beat the Clock" First you need a strong reward/ motivator. Maybe a favorite video, toy or breakfast food that he can only get when he plays the Beat the Clock Game with his grandma. He should not be able to get this item any other time. Then you set a timer for a given amount of time. An amount of time you think he can get ready with help if he is generally cooperative. Tell him that if he gets ready before the timer goes off then he gets access to (fill in the big reward). If he doesn't understand language well you can use a first/ then picture card that shows first this then reward. Make a fun game out of it. You can add hurry music or a song to make it fun also. Start early enough so that when he is successfully he doesn't have to rush to the bus or school but gets to play his game, or video or whatever.. Associate getting ready with playing and rewards and not with going to school might help also if he is reluctant to go to school. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Think Visual - one rule that many use for kids on the spectrum is: "If I didn't see it you didn't say it."  It's not that you're being ignored - it is they are having difficulty with short term memory, or processing what your request means.

2 strategies that work well:

have a picture schedule that shows the order of tasks in the AM to get to the bus - check them off or have them on a velcro strip and tear them off as you complete.

The other is what I call Teach the Rule:  You teach a rule for a specific time of day or event - then rather than nagging your reminder is 'what's the rule.  There is an excellent book that shows some fine examples called Tips for Teaching Social Skills by Boys Town Girls town press (might be tools for teaching social skills) In any event they provide some sample rules or procedures that are usefull in school and at home - if you see them you will go Aha and start creating your own unique set of rules.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Have him detoxed from mercury, thimerosol (same thing) and other heavy metals. Some kids have totally reverted back to normal. (Including Jenny McCarthy's kid, the former blonde bimbo) Search "mercury + autism". There's tons of groups out there too where other moms can give you better advice. Good luck

U klnow what? with all your thumbs down, I hope you never detox your autistic kids and they stay the same. If you can't take some constructive advice to make your kids normal, enjoy them the way they are!

Answer 5

My son is PDD/NOS and I don't criticize him. I use a stern voice in saying his name. Sometimes that is all I have to do. If that doesn't work then I ask him a question. "Do you think Ray would do that?" Ray is an adult male that he goes walking with and is a pal to him.

I found being negative with him only makes things worse. So, putting things in a positive frame works better.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

ask the school about a home behavior plan-he earns rewardsfor getting off to school appropraitely-

if his school doesn't have an ABA program-ask about their behavior specialist

Answer 7

The first thing you should do is read, learn and talk to other parents that are faced with autism.  For every child and parent it is a different set of behaviors and demands.  YOU need to learn how to work with him and how to be patient and how to succeed at giving him what he needs from you.  One thing to remember is what works in dealing with a situation one time may not work the next.  YOU have to be consistent.

With autism there is most likely sensory issues and you need to keep that in mind when dressing him or purchasing clothing for him.  Find a fabric that he can and will wear willingly and buy that kind of fabric!  Sensory issues are a major problem for children with autism.

And, I hate to be the one to inform you of this, but working with a child with autism is NOT like working with a "mental patient" -- so no matter what kind of employment your mil had, she needs to learn how to specifically work with YOUR child.  Each child with autism is so different, there is no one size fits all advice here.  It is try, try and try again and what works today may not work next week and then you are back at square one again.