Filing a restraining order?

Question

i was good friends with this guy for a while we hung out a lot but then he started to think we were more than just friends i always told him if he coudlnt handle being just friends i would understand and i never led him on but slowly he started becoming obsessed with me.coming to my window in the middle of the night calling at least 30 times a day so i told him he needed to relax or i would call the cops i started ignoring his phone calls and then one night he slashed my moms tires and later confessed when i asked him,he also tried to fight my ex-bf,threatens/harasses me over email,and continues to call everyday.one day we were both at the mall and another guy tried talking to me and he ran up to the guy and told the guy i was a w***e and not to talk to me and then when i was leaving the mall he drove by me and threw a knife at me and his cousins came out of the car to fight me.im really scared this guy is huge 6'3 230 and im only 5'2 102 and he continues to threaten and harass me.ive written a police report for the incident at the mall and the slashed tired but they never sent it to me in the mail and i went down to the police station twice to file a restraining order and get the police report i even had copies of the emails and phone records.they said they couldnt find the report numbers and another time they said i had to make an appointment with the private investigator and ive left 3 messages and my calls were never returned i feel like something bad is going to happen and i wont be able to do anything about like when ill be out alone and he knows where i live and where i like to hang out plus i dont have a cell phone.my mom cant change our number and i tried blocking his number to call me but he just calls from other places and he calls all of my friends.im tired of feeling powerless is there anything i can do?

Answer 1

You should look in the yellow pages for your local battered women's shelter. Here in Georgia I have helped women obtain restraining orders by calling the Salvation Army and the paper work could be done over the phone. There was also no charge to file it. The Salvation Army had a person whose job it was to walk women through the process by; helping them fill out documents, answering questions, and connecting them to legal help. They will know how to keep this case moving through the system.

I highly recommend getting as far off his radar as you can (out of state if you can), because they usually are excited by resistance and won't take no for an answer. You may be able to stay at a battered women's shelter, if you don't have a relative you feel comfortable with. If at all possible tell no one outside your very close circle of relatives where you are going. You wouldn't believe how naive pple can be and slip up and share info.

Some pple recommend keeping the phone number the stalker has and putting that phone with answering machine in a closet, so that the stalker has a sense that he is getting to you by leaving ranting messages (it satisfies his perverse need for control). Use a cell phone for all of your other calls and make sure you never give the number to anyone who isn't completely trusted. Just to state the obvious, always keep your phone with you.

Many states have beefed up their laws on stalking and there may be ways to get him using these laws. Unfortunately, being the victim of stalking means you lose a lot of freedom, but you also get to stay alive if you take the precautions. Here is a site that will be helpful.  It has a page that lists the stalking laws for every state and in general it is a wealth of information.

http://www.esia.net/index.html

I hope you are able to resolve this issue safely.  I will pray for you.

Answer 2

file a report with the real police stating your problem and they will issue a peace bond and serve it to him, if he violates that he will be arrested. You will have to get you mother directly involved if you are under 18

Answer 3

He must be related to someone on the force or something for them to ignore you like this. Restraining orders will only escalate the problem. The best bet is to ask your parents to move or stay with a relative like an aunt or cousin to get away from him. Then try filing with a different county sheriff or department and report the misconduct of your city's police department. I'm so sorry for what's happening to you.

Answer 4

I have no idea why you would need a private investigator, and from your information, I have no idea why an arrest has not been made in these cases.

Restraining orders are issued by the courts - but need supporting evidence - police reports or arrests.  This is my suggestion.

Go back to the police department and ask to see a duty supervisor and find out the status of the cases and when follow up will be conducted.  this will at least let you know what is going on and you can start from here.

If an arrest is warranted - request one be made.  Obtain copies of the reports and see if the court will allow you to obtain an OOP with police reports.  Social services at the courts or a police social worker at the police department can help.  Call the courts by phone before you go - and find out what you can do and what you need in order to do it.  Long days at the courthouse can be as frustrating as the situation your dealing with.

I hope (I know we do not) my agency is servicing our residents better than your does.