Financing baby shower???

Question

My mother-in-law volunteered to throw me a baby shower and of course I told her yes. Well that was a few months ago and now that its time to plan and pay for it, she wants me to help her pay for it. I was always under the impression that the person that throws it also pays for it. I'm throwing a baby shower for a friend and I'm paying for everything. So, now I have to pay for two???

I don't mind helping, like picking up a few things for her, but she wants me to buy ALL of the food and other certain items. This just doesn't seem right to me. Any thoughts??

Answer 1

She is having the party, she pays for it.  It is ok to ask close family or friends to help with food, but that is it!!  Unless you have demanded a certain theme, food, or prizes!! Then if you have asked more of her then she offered, you should help pay!  

Answer 2

The one who hosts the event is the one who pays for the party. They consider it their present for the mommy-to-be.

Answer 3

Its not right. What is it with people. Your the 2nd person on here with the same story. People are jerks.

Answer 4

that doesnt seem right! My mother and mother in law went all out and spent all togther like 600 bucks for all the food and decorations/ supplies etc. I couldnt imagine how lame it would be if I had to pay for it myself. I wouldnt have spent over like 100. It was a great day though!

Maybe you can talk to your mom if she's in the picture, or a friend of yours/ relatives that might be willing to help pitch in. Its really not supposed to be all on you!

Answer 5

Showers are supposed to be thrown and paid for by a friend or a relative otherwise it is like you are throwing a party just to get gifts.  Your mother-in-law has very poor etiquette.  I have never heard of such a thing before...asking a the mother to be to pay for her own shower.  I have an idea, tell her that you no longer wish for her to throw you a baby shower, then throw your own party and not invite her. lol I know that sounds mean but your mil is not being very nice.

Answer 6

You should never have to throw yourself a shower or help pay for your own.  It is very rude of her to even suggest you finance your own shower.  Could your husband say something to her.  Parents tend to take things better from their children rather than their in-laws.  If money is that tight, she really shouldn't have offered to throw one.

Answer 7

That's ridiculous, but what are you going to do?!  You can't very well say "Oh, nevermind, I don't want the shower if I have to pay for it".  Perhaps tell your hubby to speak to his crazy mom?

Answer 8

Yeah that seems ridiculous. My sister is throwing me one and I've paid for maybe 10% of the things but only because I insisted to. She has paid for most everything. You should not have to pay for your own shower. It would be nice to help bake some food items but you should not have to pay for most of the stuff.

Answer 9

A shower is a gift on behalf of the one giving you one (that's why they are called hosts).  You are supposed to be the guest of honor.

I'm not sure what you should tell your MIL -- you don't want to sound ungrateful for her thoughtfulness, but you also don't want to cave in to an odd expectation.  I think it's better to do without than to continue in an emotionally stressful situation.  Who knows... maybe someone else will volunteer once they learn that you don't have a shower planned.  Maybe she could team up with another family member or two to help out with food and such.

Answer 10

Usually the person who wants to throw you the baby shower is in charge of buying the baby shower decorations and souvenirs  and people could bring the food and so on. But it never should fall on the pregnant woman  unless she is planning to do it herself. Other than that all you have to do is show up and have fun :)

Congrats on your expectations :)