Finding Birth Parents?

Question

So I have looked on Yahoo Answer and I am just not finding the answer I am looking for. I have 1 younger sister and 2 older brothers. We are all adopted and my sister is my half sister (same mother). My sister is a year and a half younger than me and actualy lived with my adoptive parents before I was found. I was discovered in a foster home when my biological grandparents came from oregon (I was born there) to get my sister. There was a 2 year battle with my parents and my biological grandparents over who would get us.

I lived a great and very privelaged life, but now I am pregnant and I have some concerns for the baby. My oldest brother found his parents when he was just out of college and it hurt my mom. So, is there a way I can find out who my biological parents are without my adoptive parents knowing? I have just had a ton of red flags raised from my sisters health and I would like to know where they came from and if it is something my child could have.

Answer 1

Talk to your adoptive parents and let them know whats goin on and y you want to find your real parents. That way at least they have a heads up and it wont be like you went behind their back cause they will find out sooner or later anyways. Good luck!

Answer 2

If you know the agency or have information (your grandparents' names, for instance), then you don't need to include your adoptive parents in your search.  A lot depends on how much information you can track down without their help.  (I went through the agency, and didn't tell my adoptive parents until the search was well under way.  Even then, I didn't have to tell them.)  

Good luck to you.

And if you want some other adoptees to talk to about any of this, please come to

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Again, all the best.

Answer 3

Hi Pinky, I searched and found w/out my adoptive parents knowing. Its a real shame that 2 grown adults who made an adoption plan didn't plan on you searching and weren't prepared for it to the point that you have to hide it from them. I'm so sorry you're in that position its not fair to you.

Your question mentions that you were from oregon, what state was your adoption finalized in? What you'll want to do is find out the state laws for the state your adoption was finalized in.

Then you can get your non identifying information(most states give the adoptee this) you can also sign up with your state registry ( if there is one and if you can afford it.)

You can also start searching on your own once you have a little bit of information to go off of.

Since your grandparents fought for you, do you know their names? I have a feeling they'd absolutely embrace you into their lives if they fought so hard for you so looking up court records ( which are public in many states ) may be a place to start as well.

http://www.isrr.net is the worlds largest reunion registry, and its free, so definitely give that a shot!

http://www.adopteerights.net ( click on searching ) and you'll find your state laws.

http://www.blackbookonline.info will take you to your state resources for free name and address finders and a lot more.

Intellius is a good search engine too.

IM me if you need anything okay?

http://www.adultadoptees.org <<< good place for searching tips and support :)

Another way you may want to take part in getting your records would be to join hundreds of us in New Orleans this July 22, 2008 protesting our sealed records because it is discrimination to keep them from adoptees like they do in 44 states.

good luck!

ETA: I'm reading your addition that you added on. Since you were born in oregon and your sister was born in oregon and you had two older brothers and different fathers I'm wondering if there is a way to trace through that avenue. Oregon has a lot of public records available. Here is a link for a lot of free oregon resources for you to search with your own private information that you know about the origins of yourself and your siblings: http://blackbookonline.info/bbostatesear...

Now, something else to be aware of is once your adoption was finalized in the state you were adopted into. The state of your adoption is obligated to notify oregon of the adoption. Oregon happens to be an open record state ( that gives adoptees access to their information upon age of majority ) but since your adoption was in a different state, oregon is SUPPOSED to send all of your information to that state.

BUT BUT BUT a couple of adoptees i've come across have been able to get information about themselves in the states they were born in because the state they were adopted in never notified their original birth state. So since oregon is open records, I would try writing them for your original birth certificate and see what happens. you may get denied, but its worth a try.

If you can edit your question and let me know which state your adoption was finalized in, i can't point you in better directions. Also google: search angel and "your state" and see if you can find some free search angels for the state your adoption was finalized in.

You may also want to go to adoption.com and run a quick search on their registry ( its one of the largest online registries ) and see if you find any matches to your birthdate, your grandparents may have already been looking for you.

Answer 4

Yes, of course you can - you're an adult and you don't need Mommy or Daddy's permission to do anything anymore.

It's a shame that you feel that they would be upset or unsupportive, but I know that alot of adoptive parents are that way and I'm sorry.

There are many ways to search, could you edit your answer to let me know which State/country you were born and adopted in so I am more able to point you in the right direction.

In the meantime, have you registered with the International Soundex Reunion Registry

http://isrr.net/

Answer 5

Some GREAT advice already from Heather and Gershom.

(searching gurus - the two of them!!!)

Here's my pick of sites to also check out -

Add your details to the registries here

http://www.isrr.net/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Check here for information on your state records here -

http://adopteerights.net/

(click on the page marked 'Searchers' down the left hand side)

Check here for search help - and links to FREE search angels -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

And check here for any support - it's the best online forum for adoptees I've found -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/

All the very best with your search.

Answer 6

If you are 18 your parents don't need to know unless you need them for getting papers you don't have access to. Contact the agency that handled your case; you have to do it in person since they won't release any information without proof of who you are. They should be able to help steer you in the right direction.

Answer 7

You can seek genetic counseling to find out if your sisters health problems are of any concern to you or your unborn child