Finding Direction And Happiness? Best methods to take! ?

Question

I recently have become single after a 9 year relationship out of high school. I have been single for 2 months, trying to find happiness, strength and inner peace. I find myself lost in the world around me looking at other people content with who they are and what they do, without any fear or worries. How does one get to a point where they are content with themselves and what they project inward and outwardly.

Life is a constant roller coaster, many ups and downs. However I find myself worrying to much about what others think and over analyzing things to the point where I can become annoying. I have some habits I need to break, but most importantly I want to radiate happiness on my own without having to have someone else in my life. Where does one begin the quest. Thanks

Answer 1

First off, give yourself some time. 2 months after a 9 yr relationship is not ample time to recover. Eventually, your wounds will heal, you will have acceptance, and you will move on. Give yourself a break.

That said, you seem to be focusing on the 'appearance' of happiness then the true feeling of it. If need be, seek some counseling in order to learn to accept and be happy with who you are and what you have. Other peoples happiness or lack of it should never determine your own. You control your own fate. One thing I learned to do is to pick my battles. You cannot get upset over every little thing that's annoying or frustrating. You deal, do what you can to get things right, then move on. To dwell on something that's wrong isn't whats gonna make things right. Its all up to you.  Good luck.  

Answer 2

Radiating happiness  =  independence, self-sufficiency and confidence.

Not a problem - google a short piece called Desiderata. Strength & inner peace are in abundance there. When you think you have understood everything it is trying to say to you step back from yourself and chill out. This includes stepping back from the ladies instead of being on the alert to find them. If you acquire the above qualities - which are like magnets to ladies - then your next question is going to be how do I choose ! ! !  Good luck & best wishes. UK

Answer 3

When you are in a long term relationship at the age you were, your OWN likes and dislikes do NOT develop properly.  You are now having an identity problem and do not trust your own judgment.  THAT can be scary, but you CAN correct the problem by exploring what YOU REALLY like doing.  NOT what your girlfriend LIKED doing.  Once you discover who YOU really are,,,, you will have a happier life.