Finding babies on the Internet??????

Question

I have noticed a few times, people actually soliciting on the internet for babies via yahoo q&a. I think the last one I read was deleted (that guy sounded like he wanted to buy rather than adopt). I think it is so wrong on so many levels, not to mention unethical.

I notice comments like "I'd like to adopt your baby, why don't you email me" or "anyone know of someone wanting to give up their baby", or something to that effect.

Do people actually believe they can get a child via the internet? And does going through years of infertility treatment cause you to do crazy things like that without you realising that it is crazy?

Well, I can just imagine what anti-adoption people would say (and probably rightly so), but to AP's, do you think these type of people give the rest of us (one's who went through the right channels) a bad name?

Answer 1

Dear Shelby,

Nothing really shocks me anymore about adoption. People can be so incredibly insensitive, ignorant and SELFISH!

It disgusts and irritates me that our society has become so capitalist and MEgocentric that some sheeple cannot even see a child as a PERSON! I think treating adoption like buying a car or picking a puppy up from the pound is beyond beastly behavior and I have no words to express the sorrow I feel for the unfortunate adoptee who has to submit themselves to that kind of degradation.

These are often the same people who think of adoption as a sort of emotional indentured servitude, where the child is expected to feel saved and be grateful.

Both of these SMACK of a sense of OWNERSHIP of a child. It amazes me how many people think of a child as a posession, rather than a person, a "blank slate" for filling in to suit their parents, have ridiculous expectations of their children's needs and emotions, assume children have no BRAINS or feelings of their own and, my personal favorite, that a child will be confused by, or is some how incapable of loving more than one or two people.

But what can we expect - these days, most sheeple are educated by their tv sets and think that money is the answer to everything. Adoption in the West is like every other business. It advertizes, it lobbies for its own benefit and it is about lots and lots of money. Adoption as a business is run like a used car dealership or pet store - so why wouldn't sheeple see babies and kids as less than human. (Its not just in adoption that kids are treated this way - check out the divorce world!) Children = Chattel.

Until sheeple see children as PEOPLE, adoptees will continue to have their rights trampled upon and sheeple will try to buy them because kids would look nice on their IKEA couch, Brangelina makes it look like more fun than shopping at Vera Wang's and if they can pay $25 on-line and get a certificate to call themselves "Reverend"; then why wouldn't they think they can buy a kid with a flier at the gas station and call themselves "parents". >:P

Not as if our government helps this any - the US will not even recognize the UN Treaty on the Rights of the Child.

THANK GOODNESS for PAPs and APs who get it! There are some out there who truly understand what it means to be a REAL parent! (You guys know who I'm talking about!)

Trying to think positively: We did have the Women's Lib Movement, the Civil Rights Movement and the Animal Rights Movement...maybe the Children's Rights Movement will catch up soon.

Answer 2

I think these people are just not educated in the how's and why's. I remember feeling very uncomfortable looking thru pictures of older adoptable children (while we were waiting for a placement) because it felt like I was on-line shopping. It just seemed wrong.

But yes infertility can make people feel desperate and a little crazy sometimes lol. I generally find it is those who want a "baby" who are aching inside enough to "shop" for one.

I can testify that adopting an older child is a hard and beautiful experience and worth every bit of effort.

Answer 3

I think its unethical and should be illegal. Babies are not pets and people shouldn't be soliciting either.

It truly makes me sick when someone posts about their christian loving home soliciting young naive girls struggling with their unplanned pregnancy. Jesus is turning over in her grave.

Answer 4

Yeah, there are people who post here (and elsewhere on the internet) that are looking for babies to adopt.  Makes me think that they must have read that book about fasttracking adoptions, which says to pretty much hire one of those sky-writers, rent a billboard and do a telethon to advertise the fact that they want to adopt.  I put it in the same catagory as leaving business cards with your check at a restaraunt.  Remember that one?

I really hope that it's ignorance.  I also really hope that the people take the time to educate themselves.  But anymore, posting that you want to adopt a child as well as posting that you're pregnant and looking for someone to adopt your child is just asking someone to take advantage of you.  

But yes, I think it is one of the many practices that give adoptive parents a bad name.

Answer 5

I think they know exactly what they're doing and trying to take short-cuts.  These are the very kind of people who attempt to justify their actions and kick up a huge fuss when they end up being scammed

Answer 6

In some ways and to some people, sure it gives us a bad name. However, many will say that purchasing a baby online is not that different from purchasing a baby through an agency....from their perspective.

Some people actually believe they can get a baby from the internet....and many have actually succeeded at doing this...which is why others still try. Many see it as a way to 'get' an infant while others simply want to limit their wait time. Either way, it is disgusting and should be illegal. While there are many things wrong with adoption policies, one good thing is that you are required to submit to backgroud checks and personality evaluations, references, etc. By trying to circumvent the agency all together, it always makes me suspect that the person is merely unable to adopt through normal, legal and ethical channels. Sadly, some people still give their babies to these people.

<<adoptive mommy through foster care.

Answer 7

I cringe every time I read an answer stating "we would love to adopt" or " I would love to adopt your baby".

Imagine if one day that poor child finds out they got their adoptive parents off of Yahoo!

Answer 8

I'd like to believe that the people who solicit for babies over the internet are just incredibly uneducated about adoption - my fear is that it's actually that they will never take the time to get past "I want a baby" and never educate themselves.

People seem to just get it, or they don't get it. The people who post here soliciting, and then can't believe that there are other people who respond to them negatively ... they will probably just never get it. That plaintive "I'm just trying to offer this poor girl some assistance in her time of crisis ..." Absolutely - they give the rest of us a bad name.  It drives me *C*R*A*Z*Y* And I've got to tell you - I report each and every one - and will proudly continue to do so.  They fit the stereotypes of APs that the rest of us fight against. They aren't considering the child, or the mother, or what it means for everyone in the future. I do believe that there are ethical and moral ways to adopt - but I guess that just isn't important to some people.

I'd like to blame the facilitators/lawyers who push them to "market" themselves - but they must know, somewhere, that there is a piece to this they are missing (the feelings of the adoptee being that piece).  I don't think many of them think past the baby and toddler stage.  Certainly not to what their child will think or feel as an adult.

Even aside from all of that - is there any better way for them to put a sign on their foreheads that says "Scam Me!"

On a larger scale, I think it's all indicative of how our culture pushes us to live: we want it fast, with the least amount of work necessary, with little regard for how the outcome will affect anyone else in the future.